next entry of diary of a soldiers wife

04/02/01
Jarrod is back now.  Over weekend Mitch had many angry outbursts.  At me, Jarrod and his friend who he wanted to come over.  We ended up taking the friend home after an hour.  Mitch seems to like the stimulation of an argument.  We are seeing a paediatrician on Friday.  Jarrod can't wait.  We will see psychologist shortly.  I feel depressed today and run-down and did not do a lot.  Jarrod was really helpful.  I'm glad he is back from his week away.  Hope to feel better this coming week.  Mitch has a chipped tooth.  I spoke to principal and Mitch had started a fight.  He is having capped tomorrow.

14/02/01
Jarrod left for overseas work assignment a few days ago.
I'm so tired from work that I am in bed at 8pm.  Mitch hasn't showered yet, so I'll be up again to remind him.  It was good to work though as it stops the boredom.  One young mum at work said it was good for her to work as she didn't 'just feel like someone's mum' and has another identity at work too.  I feel that way too at the moment, although a balance is hard to find.  Mitch came with me today and was a good helper.  The last two hours he got bored though and smart towards other children.  Paediatrician suggested one tablet in  the mornings and half at lunch, which wears off after four hours, sometimes you can tell.  I don't like the thought of medication but we were really at breaking point and wanted to help him as well as the family.  May for the short term until we get more help.

18/02/01
A few emails ago to Jarrod, I complained about being lonely.  He replied he could not put his words down in writing so he would call.  He called later and as a man, he did not speak of feelings, just solutions to problems.  He thinks I should go to Adelaide at Easter to spend 2 weeks with mum as she is not going to my brother's now.  Mitch and I were asked to dinner at Jarrod's parent's place, which was odd, but good as I was feeling lonely.

Mitchell makes me laugh.  On the way home today he was in one of his chatty moods and he commented on how he would like to have cake and fireworks on the day before his birthday to celebrate 'Appendix Day'.  He meant 'Independence Day', on the fourth of July which is the day before his birthday.  He added, then he could have another birthday on the fifth of July!  Mitch has behaved fairly well lately, except one angry outburst at Nicky and husband as they helped me move some furniture in and scratched it a bit.  I sent him to his room.  I warned him to behave for his grandparents tonight.  I read somewhere that you shouldn't really warn children to behave, but it's hard not too sometimes.  At least tonight he didn't reply, "Don't you expect me to behave?" in a harsh tone.  Which may be fair as I am probably sending him the wrong messages, that I don't trust him to behave.  Tonight though I gave a few examples and he was quiet then.

Jarrod sent me flowers.  I emailed and thanked him.  He does try to understand, but it's hard to be nice when I am hurting inside so much.  At least it's peace time where he is and he is unlikely to be in any danger, I hope.  I especially get lonely on the weekends when my diary is blank and Mitch gets up and gets dressed and follows me around looking glum and waiting for me to come up with ideas to free him from his boredom also.