yoga for kids to teens, including treating trauma and anxiety.

Yoga involves a lot more than just the asanas- yoga postures. In my yoga classes I try to pass on ‘The eight limbs of yoga’ within the classes. The first limb is the set of Yamas and Niyamas- five observances to follow within our lives to gain more contentment and less attachment to our worries and other people. The first one being- Ahimsa: non-violence: being kind to others even if they are not kind to you. Which is harder then we think sometimes, but worth trying, as then we can see that everyone involved is less stressed if we take this action. Being kind to ourselves is something that can be followed within our yoga asana practice also. This would be by way of listening to our bodies and not over straining them to create the perfect pose (which in actual fact doesn't exist, as the perfect pose is what is what feels perfect to us within our own body. 'Himsa' is being kind, so if we treat our body as our 'temple' to cherish and care for, then we can also be more patient with ourselves and kind to our bodies as well as our inner self.Making our body our friend again is important in healing trauma. Feeling comfortable in our body and knowing we are safe and that we are in control again. The second Yama is Truthfulness. Third is 'non-stealing'. Your body is your sacred vehicle which takes you through life and we should treat it with respect by taking care of it. we don't need o obsess over it either, because that is when we loose touch of our true self.What lies beneath your outer shell and your thoughts is truly who you are. Your pure essence as you were when you were born, not tated by outside past and present influences and experiences. The fourth is 'honouring your body'. The fifth is 'non-greediness'. Even in the under 5's to teens we can mention these observances, for example; being kind, 'himsa', acting without judgement of others, sharing equipment, being respectful, helping to pack up. Did you know that the Sun Salutation is usually done with your eyes closed? This is not necessary when you first start, however over time you may find yourself doing this naturally, as it becomes a moving meditation. This traditional way must help you see that yoga is not about comparing yourself to others.Your breath and your mind are closely working together. Mental healing and physical healing can take place simultaneously. When your eyes are closed you can use a mantra like, 'so-ham' to focus your mind or count your breaths. ‘Perfection’ can be paralysing, particularly for teens, giving up and stopping them from even starting a task Again they learn from you. Do you worry over every tiny detail at work or home? Teach them to take scheduled breaks and reward themselves for completing a task. I remember in primary school I had almost no pages left in my exercise books because I'd ripped so many out due to my perfectionism. Come year 12 and I was burnt out and didn't sit my Yr. 12 exams, incase I failed! I was still awarded a pass though as the teachers thought I deserved something for all my hard work. I later went back to mature age learning. Kindness, persistence, humility and honesty are just as important as academic skills. Do you talk negatively about your own school experience to your children? Less efficient and effective learning takes place when we are multi-tasking. Encourage focus rather than multi-tasking. Do you often multi-task yourself? Be a good role-model for your child and help them to focus. Overcoming peer 'meanness' is important. If you shield him/her from trying to overcome these things teens won't be learning important life skills, including how to resolve conflict. Encourage pre-teens and teens to feel empathy for 'mean' girls, as there is usually a reason in their background that has made them behave the way they are behaving. Teach your teen to stand strong, show strength in their confidence in themselves to not be affected by another's behaviour. Top tips to help your child: #Encourage open communication with you as the parent and help them come up with their own solutions to problems. #Help them to move on eventually from the 'clique stage' to including and meeting new friends anywhere and anytime. #Encourage both close and casual friends. Not to limit herself to one friend. #Encourage her/him to be around friends who build her up and don't try to tear her down. #Be a good listener and explain to her that her friendship dilemmas should diminish (hopefully) as she gets older. #Help them to recognise the difference between a 'bitchy' gossiping clique and a more positive one, but don't try to force her to change her friends as she may then want to hang out with them more. #Subtle observations of her friends comes across better than belittling for them so the teen has to defend them. #Get to know the parents of your child's peer group. #Social connectedness and peer group acceptance is important to developing resilience. This can happen either in school or in the outside community. Both is even better. #Having at least one friend in a peer group that they can be honest and open with, helps your teen. #A sense of acceptance and belonging is the number one resilience building factor in your child's social and moral development. #Choose a school that supports psycho-social and emotional well-being as much as academic prowess. Kindness, persistence, humility and honesty are just as important as academic skills. #Try a loving, kindness affirmation with your child: - ‘May I be kind, may I be happy, may I feel at ease with my peers.’encourage them to use affirmations often to create a positive mind-set. Exercises: Mirror breathing exercises Mirror stretch exercises with them. This helps students reconnect with themselves, you as a parent and maybe a sibling. Counting the breath up to five or back from five can help children experience time and presence more clearly and see the beginning and end of a practice. As in life, we can more forward to something else without looking back or getting stuck in a posture or a thought. Reframe the behaviour- for young children. A good out-line is conveyed in the ‘Cognitive principle matrix’ of this suggestion. Relate back to and find the possible stressors, unmet needs or skills deficits that the child may be acting out because of. Read and relate to yoga- suffering and fear. Kleshas- considered in yoga philosophy as the root cause of all our suffering. (Pantanajali's yoga sutras). 1. Avidya - ignorance When we are ignorant of our true nature we experience pain and suffering. This is the part of you deep down that is always loving, peaceful and unchanging. 2. Asmata- egoism When we forget our true nature we overly identify with the concept of 'I, me and mine'. We forget that our energies are all connected and can also take things too personally and put ourselves done. 3. Raga- attachments Strong attachment to our desires. Let go of the attachment to desire things, rather have goals to work towards, which is healthier than having an obsession or perfectionism. 4. Dvesa- Aversions Letting ourselves be controlled by our desires means if they are not met then we can turn away from them and develop aversions towards them. Fear- (relates to cognitive matrix) If above ways of being are taking place we can then start to feel fear of change. If we eliminate the first Klesha, ignorance we can then dissolve all the other afflictions. If we meditate and do yoga with focus on our true nature, then there is no room for all of the above. Daily rituals of mindfulness and meditation can help. Affirmations starting with 'I am .........' ‘I am love. I am peaceful.’ This advice does not heal trauma from physical pain- tissues, bones. Here it relates to suffering of your inner self, your soul. Although you can hang onto pain in your body after the trauma, which can also be a sauce of on-going suffering relating to your true self and ultimately needs to be released with proper professional support. References: Emerson,D. Hopper, E. Overcoming Trauma through yoga. Reclaiming your body. North Atlantic Books, California. http://kids health.org. Meek, J. The five klesha said-the roots of pain and suffering. Yoga times (accessed 5 Sept. 2017). Worsley, L. The Resilience Doughnut. The secrets of strong kids. Karres ,Sherin, E. Branstetter, R. The conscious parent’s guide to raising girls.