Pre teens confidence with yoga.

If you have pre-teens at home yoga can empower them to follow their dreams and own paths. Not being 'people pleasers' and shooting their arrows from warrior pose to their own destinies that feel right for them. This is what we practice through yoga in some of my classes. I want to offer them strength in being who they truely are and not what others want them to be. Whilst also being kind and courageous. If they don't go forward with this attitude then they will always agree with others opinions and be to afraid to speak up purely because they want to be liked.  They can then build up negativity within and have angry outbursts when they have had enough of 'people pleasing'. Give pre-teens space to express themselves and help them to use compassion in their communications. Otherwise they may fall into the trap as adults just moving through life on 'automatic', not really feeling, playing a role and not shining their true light out to the world. Tell them that all people won't like them for it and some may react badly to their new found self, but those people are not their true friends. Practice yoga to bring to life your true self.
Om shanti (peace be with you)
Tracey
(Yogamotorskills)

Opening your throat chakra to find your voice.

The 5th charkra is the throat chakra. It's involved in speaking your truth, learning lessons in self-expression and will.  If you are not activating your throat chakra you may appear overly introverted, shy and not always speaking the truth.
The throat chakra relates to the throat, thyroid and tongue and illnesses related to this area can manifest with a blockage in this area. I myself develop ulcers if I don't speak my truth and what I feel in my heart. I always try and do it with kindness and compassion but remain assertive.  Listen to your intuition. Learn to speak up in front of others.  Express yourself with creative pursuits.  Not holding back so emotional and physical pain is held in.  Try Lion pose, Plow pose, Fish pose and Wood-chopper to open your throat chakra.
Join my classes to learn more: yogamotorskills.com
Namaste

Yoga for your mind, body and spirit.

Yoga helps a person to shine from within. Yoga develops strength in body, mind and character. He gains courage and wisdom, integrity, straightforwardness and simplicity.Many athletes, sportspeople have superb physiques and have great control of the body, but they lack control over the mind, the intellect and the Self. Yoga nourishes your senses, mind, intellect and souls, as well as your bodies. Yoga helps you to get to know your inner self, trains your mind to be still and not erratic. His body is his temple which houses the divine spark, your inner spirit. With proper breathing your spirit will be calmed and good health should prevail.Mindfulness and the four foundations of Mindfulness of the body, of feelings, of the mind and of the dharma (truth) - on the mat all contribute to a more purposeful practice. Attention to your, your feelings, sensations can be recognised and felt with to make the holding of poses easier to maintain. (Iyengar, BKS, Light on Yoga. 2005). ( Bringing Mindfulness to the Mat, yoga Journal). Being attuned to our feelings, in tune with our bodies, reflecting on our values, aspirations, goals. Knowing our strengths and weaknesses. These are the skills future generations will need in emotional intelligence to succeed. Enhancing there interpersonal skills, teamwork ability and communication skills can never start too early. Yoga and mindfulness education can help the young develop these skills and give them tools for lifelong learning. In addition; ease of connection with themselves and other people. Treating everyone with love, compassion and kindness. Yoga, in conjunction with therapy, inspirational texts, and other natural approaches to well-being can facilitate healing for all of us. (Sangeeta Vallabhan).

Why teach yoga to children

We all know how important the early years are to our future success.  Our body, mind and emotions need to be keep strong and nourished throughout our life.  Yoga can bring about peace to young children's minds in our busy, competitive world.  They can stop their senses for a while and go within to look and feel at peace with who they are the world around them.  I see too many adults taking up yoga for the wrong reasons. Yes we want to have strong bodies, but does holding the best asana in the class sustain you once you walk out that gym door? No it won't, because you haven't experienced the essence of yoga.  Children should experience yoga as a full mind, body experience.  Yogamotorskills aims for a full yoga experience.  This entails; yoga postures and exercises ( asanas) yogic breathing ( pranayama), age appropriate meditation experiences ( antar Mauna) and relaxation ( nidra).

Anger management and chakras

https://www.facebook.com/Yogamotorskills/posts/908521782532788

Yoga and sound therapy event for kids.

8th and 15th of March. Redlands Healing Centre, Sheldon, qld. 11am. Go to f: yogamotorskills for more details.

Yoga for kids.

Yoga for 9-12yr olds. 

Sit in easy sitting pose.  Sukasana.

Theme: ahimsa

Meaning 'non-violence'

To others and all living creatures and also to ourselves. Speaking kinds words to ourselves in our head and kind words and actions towards others.  Also not pushing ourselves to hard through our asanas is also 'non- violence' towards yourself.  Bring out peace stone: talk about what is peace to them, what makes them feel peaceful?

Lie down for calm breathing on backs.

Arms up and over head as we breath in and back down as we breath out.  Talk about the importance of our breath in yoga.

Do same with legs. Then hold each in calf stretch.

Bridge pose.

Knees to chest.

Standing poses: feet grounded in the earth.  Plant your toes flat on the ground!and your outside edges of your feet should ground down like your planting your roots of your feet into the earth.  We feel the energy run from the earth up our legs as we we hold them in this position.  All of yoga relies on positioning your feet properly.  We then make sure our spine is straight and our crown chakra can then meet up with the sky.  

Chin slightly towards the chest, which is what we do in lots of poses.  Fully extend your arms and hands. Fingers and toes are spread. As we begin to move through 'surya Namaska'.  

Fingertips extend towards the earth gaining energy from the earth again.  We become as strong as a 'mountain' nothing can bring us down.

do sun salutation warm up.  Vittasana- deep fold.  Tilt your sit bones up. Let thinking go.  Step back and down into cobra, toes curled, elbows dug deep into your body.  Then back into down dog, sit bones raised, hands and feet shoulder and hip width apart. Try to ground feet into earth, can walk the dog here by walking feet up and down.  Feel the energy run down the back of your legs.  Scoop up mullah bundha from your lower belly to your navel.  Flow on bringing feet up to utttasanha. Inhale and arm circle up and wide down for tadasana.  Draw elbows into body and exhale down. Then cobra, bhujangasana open heart then bend knees to downward dog.  Then upright to virabhadrasana 11 ( warrior 11 pose) fearless of arm into it and let that energy go into hips as you bend from waist to trikonasana.  Trikonasana stretches the spine and trunk muscles.  Improves digestion of your food.  Repeat on other side.
Both the upper and body work on other side.  Then exhale down as we move into rajakapotasana ( pigeon pose).right   Knee come into left side. Lengthen out through right leg.  s, big inhale through right leg and enjoy this beautiful hip opener.  Other side as knee comes to inside of right wrist.  Look up then exhale and flow on down. Stomach to hip and leg meridian comes into play here.  Excess stress releases as we lay heel down.  Where the mind goes energy flows.  

Butterfly pose opens your hips and metaphysically we can store lots of tense feelings in there so it's good to stretch them out and open them up.  

Poses for the stomach and heart openers: partner boats.  Lotus. Mula bhunga engaged from lower belly. Then bow. Make ourselves into our own boat.  When we are scared or worried about something we can feel a funny feeling in our tummy, these poses help to open up this area.  And bridge pose.  Wood choppers- wide leg standing pose and breathing out. 

Dynamic stillness: back to back breathing.  We need to send oxygen to every part of our body when we do yoga.  Shoulders down and back spine straight, imagine piece of string pulling our top of head up straight. Full yoga breath and feel that in your partners back too.  

We don't feel as stressed if we learn to breath properly.  Breathe into your three chambers of your upper body starting with your belly, like a balloon going up as you breath in up through your ribs and expand into your chest then back the other way until your belly balloons in and is relaxed.

This is called 'pranayama'.

Try shallow breathing (stressed breathing) and angry breathing to feel the difference.

Grandmas garden game.  Tree pose.  One legs lifts, and bends to the side. Rest foot on thigh/calf. Find a point in front of you on the floor or wall to stare at to keep your balance.  This is called your dristi point. If you can bring your palms together over your head.  Then return to Tadasana. It helps you to concentrate better.  

( Parvati asana).  Breathe naturally and spread your arms out wide.  

Explain game.  

. 

Cross legged twist or deer pose.  B

Lotus. Bow pose. Good before you play sports.  While inhaling slowy raise the legs by pulling the ankles up and raising your knees whilst also lifting chest off floor.  Tilt the head back as far back as possible. Then slowly bring knees to floor and release the ankles.  Helps to keep your spine flexible. Runs energy along the front body, although it's a back bend.  Naturally arch up with dristi point up.  Lay down head to one side and relax as you feel the rush of prana through your meridians where energy flows and deep relaxation occurs.  

 Boat pose in partners.  Try to bring hands in and out with legs connected.  Boat is called navasana builds strength in your tummy and helps your mind become still.  Balance on your sitting bones holding bent knees with feet lifted off floor. Inhale and on the exhale, lean back and extend arms straight. Raise lower parts of legs so they are parallel to floor.  And don't forget to breathe.

Shoulder stand.  Working into your chin and throat chakra as you tuck chin in to protect neck.  Aim is to eventually stack joints but to start legs can bend towards head.  As you lift tail bone up and support your back.  Yin and yang still in mid point and equal.  With scissor split the liver, kidney meridiums open.  Bundha konasana ' beginner scissor split.  Then rolling upright and do wide leg fold. Length through spine. Then lay back against Mother Earth.  Knees to chest for a good digestion pose.  Then spinal twist whilst lying down. Keep shoulder down and look at other arm as it extends out. Bend knee and bring leg across and down to where it feels right for you.  Twists help leg go of emotions also.  Re-aligning the spine and chakras and radiating it back out to the universe shining light through your chakras and light into those organs inside your body. Choose not to have busy thoughts and let go and flow away.  

.

Savasana. 

rings you peace in your mind.

Breathing exercise- lie in savasana: place each hand lightly on your lower belly.  Breath in fully and feel your lower belly move outward as your fingertips move outwards as the belly expands.  Then as you exhale the belly goes inwards and your fingertips touch again.  You can hold your eye pillow here or over your eyes.

Now try to breath more slowly in and out. Count the breathing 2,3,4 and out.  

Our breath helps us to connect our body and mind and feel peaceful and calm. 

Kundalini ( is our potential spiritual energy) symbolised by the rainbow serpent as it rises and opens the chakras as we breath in and out through our nostrils.  To its home at the crown of the head, our crown chakra.  

Namaste

Parenting children with yoga, buddhism and natural therapies. 3.

Buddhism is something anybody, anywhere from any background can practice at any time of their day.  It is not something only the rich and famous can dabble in or just for those with an affiliation with the religion or just for alternative/hippie types.  It is just a way of being, feeling and seeing the world, whatever your god/goddess.  Have you ever heard the saying, “don’t sweat the small stuff”, well that is a large part of Buddhist thinking.  Buddha means “awakened one”.  ‘Engaged Buddhism’ is a principle that everyone can apply into their lives to be more effective parents and individuals with a basis of compassion and wisdom.  It means to elicit action based on awareness in everything we do (Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnam).  With the potential of gaining greater awareness of our inner self and Buddhism as an ‘attitude’ we can evolve into more mindful, skilful, open hearted parent.

Yoga is a set of practices, rather than beliefs.  When practised through asanas (postures) breath work (pranayama) and meditation/relaxation (savasana) and living the yoga ‘attitude’ in daily life you can discover a more harmonious, peaceful and contented lifestyle.

Meditation

 Meditation can also be called; contemplation, prayer, even if it is only on the toilet or doing the dishes in silence.  This is your quiet time to focus your breath and go deeper into your own silence.  This time helps me to deal with the hectic external world.  To look within yourself to find your own answers to the questions you have.  Within you and in silence you can visit your true self.  It is really not that hard, complex or strange once you start for just a couple of minutes a day.  You will feel calm, focused and I promise you, everyone around you will benefit too.

This book also encompasses ‘Universal Laws’ as they apply to our parenting and lifestyle choices.  Allow truth to arise within yourself, to heal, then you can go about healing your loved ones.  The divine within you knows how to heal.  As human beings we have free will, ask for help through prayer (meditation) if needed and then trust that you will receive it by the act of asking. 

New discoveries in consciousness of the human mind.

 Learn about Quantum Physics.

We all evolved from the stars and we are all connected, including all organisms or creatures.  This is no longer a bizarre new age idea, it is what quantum physicists have found.  All living creatures have cells and are all connected at a base level that we never realised before. Learning more about this as parents and a family we can better care for each other and all living creatures with compassion as we understand that at a cellular level we are all interconnected and the benefits will be universal.

These recent findings relate to what Buddhist philosophers have always advocated. 

 

• Chapter 1: Birth to 2yrs.

Developmental tasks at this stage.

Bowlby- attachment theory.

John Bowlby (1907-1990)  was a psychoanalyst that found many mental health issues could be related back to events of children’s lives occurring in their early childhood.  He theorised that children come into the world with a biological need to form attachments with others to help them survive.  This is usually the parents and it is vital that a bond occurs with a (or a few) primary care-givers in order to avoid later issues with relationships, trust and mental health in adult life.  Children in early childhood learn from their primary caregiver important social and emotional behaviours, which becomes part of their internal self.  These are: earning to trust others.  Feeling valuable and feeling effective in being interactive with others.

 

Effective Social Functioning can result from a connection with someone in a positive way taking place.  We know how to regulate our own feelings.  We can relate these feelings to others (including all living creatures) and better understand others and feel empathy. ( Bowlby.J. (1980). Attachment and Loss Vol 1, 2 and 3. New York: Basic Books.)

 

• Related Buddhist theory: Avairsvarya, attachment.

Attachment as it relates to Buddhist theory means not wanting to be separated from someone or something, which at first appears to be something to be avoided in Buddhist teachings as it can lead to suffering.  This sounds like the Western notion of co-dependency to me, which is also seen as negative to our well-being as a confident individual.  In his essay,  Attachment and Non-attachment: Attachment Theory and Buddhism, Nobo Komagato  suggests , on the relationship of both theories, that these terms are related, ‘but there is no contradiction between these approaches.’  The term ‘attachment’ in Buddhism actually refers to ‘craving’ which is a desire to cling or obsess to someone or something, which is not what the attachment theory hypothesises, as Bowlby advocates that a secure attachment is something that is lovingly desired by a child and parent innately and isn’t obsessive.  In which case it can be interpreted as ‘non-craving’ rather than non-attachment.  Furthermore, recent developments in neuroscience has shown people who are experienced mindfulness meditators have the same part of their brain activated as do people who form secure attachments.  Therefore both secure attachment and internal attachment can strengthen mindfulness in people who practice both.  (Nobo Komagato, accessed 19/02/15 http://nobo.komagato.net/pub/Komagata09-Xtachment.html).

 

Depression and anxiety (Post Natal Depression)

 Each child brought on post natal depression for me.  There were however different circumstances which brought about a buffer to more severe episodes than for others.  I worked with each situation as best I could and sought to overcome my depression in naturally healing ways, along with medical and community supports.

Depression and anxiety are debilitating and potentially serious illnesses that can affect anyone, any time.  More than 3 million Australians live with anxiety and depression.  Medical treatments only going part the way in helping to cope with these illnesses and you can’t just phone a friend and bring yourself out of it (although social isolation can play a part).

Understanding the way you feel and being aware of it is half the battle.  I also found this understanding of Buddhism at this time helpful:

Be realistic in your thinking

Nothing lasts. Everything is impermanent. (Buddhism). The moment will pass, the 'stage' your child is in will pass. Keep an open mind and treat our children with kindness and compassion and consistency they are more likely to develop internal control. The moods we feel in different times in parenthood will also pass. We can think negative feelings can last forever when we are depressed at times as a parent, we can 'catastrophize' our moment, our troubles (eg. Make a mountain out of a mole hill, become a drama queen), rather than seeing it as a time to learn and suffering can help us move forward to higher ground. 

Tool-box of ideas to help yourself:

• Ask for help when needed.
• Seek medical and community assistance.
• Seek natural health guidance eg. nutrition, physical fitness, mental care and guidance.  Relaxation techniques.
• Don’t suffer in silence, make social connections.
• Don’t berate yourself for how you feel.  You can’t help the way you feel sometimes at this stage, due to the hormonal and mental changes in your body taking place.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Use aromatherapy to calm yourself and your baby.  For example; put a drop of Lavender on your shoulder and rock the baby to sleep as they rest on your shoulder. 
• Practice breathing and relaxation techniques through yoga.
• Try ‘not to sweat the small stuff.’  ‘Let it go’, through meditation.
• Take magnesium to help with learning, memory and bodily aches and pains.

 

Tool-box of ideas for your child:

Help children to regulate their feelings at this age.  Help them deal with failures (they are part of life) and without them we cannot learn and move forward. Praise directly and specifically their successes and positive behaviours.  Assist them with compassion and work through their difficult behaviours together.

• As they get older label feelings with them,  “I can see you are sad, show me what’s the matter.”
• Breathe with them and role model slowing down our breath to help them learn to self-regulate their emotions.
•  Work at solving problems together.  Ask them how a problem can be solved or what they could have done instead.  Review how that went if it starts to happen again and repeat, pointing out how the strategy worked before.
•  Later do some yoga. Hold a crystal together and make affirmations.  Use aromatherapy.  Massage.  Relaxation or meditation CD.
• Tell them “you love them, but just not their behaviour.”  Forgive yourself if you get it wrong (maybe not listening attentively or losing your cool) and say sorry when you have to. 

Chapter 2:  2yrs to 6yrs:

Developmental tasks at this stage:

Autonomy vs self-doubt:  is about learning to become independent in a safe and encouraging environment.  If you allow children to make choices where they can be made, allow them to try to do things for themselves before jumping in and letting them take considered risks in a safe way, then they will grow to have a better self-esteem and ‘I can do it’ attitude.  They can also learn to take considered risks, be independent and not be easily led.  (Autonomy vs self-doubt- Piaget). 

 

Egocentrism:  Child development theory.  A term coined by Piaget (1976) who was a biologist.  His views have been enormously influential in educational theory.  Egocentrism is important for parents to understand as it can explain some reactions that children have that the everyday parent cannot see any reason behind.  Egocentrism is when children believe, “I am the centre of my universe” and everything should revolve around them.  This is evident at this stage of a child’s development and doesn’t mean they will end up self- centred, egotistical tyrants.  They just have an inability at this stage to sometimes see the world as someone else does and adapt to it.  Not moral ‘selfishness’ but just an early stage of psychological development. 

 

How to help your child.

Tool box of ideas:

 

Tell them how proud they should be of themselves, not just for altruistic reasons but for themselves.  This can assist them in building intrinsic motivation, which means they will more likely do things for themselves and to make themselves feel happy, rather than trying to please others or always get a reward.  This can encourage later goal setting and a love of learning later at school, as they learn how to be curious about the world and take part in it energetically and feel their own sense of control over their environment.  (Bruner, 1962).

 

 

Between 2-6yrs your child is probably at the stage of waking every night, so in actual fact, you are ‘literally’ the ‘awakened one’, not in the metaphysical self, but in the physical.

Sleeping problems: 

 

Crystals

Children feel a great affinity with nature and crystals are a key element of our natural world.  They can play a role in assisting children in their physical, emotional and spiritual healing.  Crystals are filled with energy and are conduits of energy. They can direct, amplify and accelerate energy patterns.  You can also hold onto certain ones as you make your affirmations for yourself and with your children or for your children.  Some medical practitioners see the benefits in crystals as a tool for relaxation and to reduce anxiety.

 

My son when he was little was drawn to gemstones and crystals and began a collection of them at a young age. Although I wasn’t aware of their healing powers back then (he is now 21yrs old), but I noticed the natural gravitation he had towards them and encouraged it.

Gemstones and crystals have been used for more than 5,000 years in China, India and other ancient cultures.  As a parent you can research different gemstones and crystals which can specially support children with various issues and challenges.  Note which ones your child is naturally drawn too.  Charoite and Amber- aids with insomnia and difficulty settling into sleep. ( Note: never leave a crystal in a young child’s bed due to possibility of choking hazard.  Put it somewhere nearby but out of reach).

 

Aromatherapy

Lavender is a good choice for relaxation.  However, not a good choice if your child suffers from hay-fever as lavender could irritate their sinuses.  Roman chamomile is a good choice for small children.  It is best to add the essential oils to a tissue and rest it nearby or use a scented eye pillow.  You can also use them in the bath before bed.  (Note: be sure to keep the bottles of essential oils away from the children). 

 

 Calm parenting and consistency at bed-time. 

Consistency in bedtime rituals, where possible, is very important at this stage.  For example we always strived for, ‘bath, bed, story then sleep every night when our children were this age. 

Babies and children respond well to relaxing music to soothe them to sleep (we all know this) but did you know what it actually does?  Relaxing music reduces the activity of the nervous system resulting in decreased heart rate, slower breathing and lower blood pressure much like a state of meditation.  Music can be a great, ‘sleep medicine’ for you and your child at any age (Retrieved 2015 www.Time For wellness.org, Original article care of Benjamin Brown, ND. C2014. ).  A good sleep assists brain development and clearness of thought, which in turn can support better behaviour in your children.

 

Introduce your child to yoga.

Importance of good posture for the skeletal system, flexibility and agility for young growing bodies through yoga.  By using the body in this way the nervous system, the endocrine system and the metaphysical system work together.  ‘The pineal, which is a tiny gland in the brain is closely linked to the ajna chakra, the seat of wisdom and intuition.’  (Shanti Gowan, 2007).  This is referred to as the Third Eye Chakra associated with psychic powers, higher intuition.  Yoga helps children tune into their bodies both physically and mentally. 

New kids yoga classes, Qld.

                                                

  Yoga Classes for kids!

 

Contact Tracey at

                                yogamotorskills@gmail.com or visit yogamotorskills on facebook.

Instructor will provide some mats.  Bring a water bottle and wear light, loose clothing. 

Programs constructed by a qualified Teacher with yoga training for children up to 18yrs.

Benefits to kids

In our fast paced world yoga assists children to calm their thoughts, centre themselves for learning and learn how to ‘just be still’ for a moment. Children become more confident and benefit from a non-competitive form of fitness and well-being. The joy of movement, music, games, socialisation, can all be experienced during a yoga session with children. The 45 min classes will incorporate yoga, perceptual motor skills and fundamental movement skills to give children greater awareness of their body and develop their physical strength, balance, flexibility and concentration.  Breathing and relaxation techniques are also practiced.

New Saturday Morning classes: 

Under 6yrs: 9:15am 7-18yrs: 10am  (Redlands Healing Centre: 557 Mt Cotton Rd, Sheldon.)

Cont: Parenting and related Buddhist teaching, includes natural therapies.

Contents page:  Encompasses these topics throughout age group chapters.

1. Buddhism
   Based on action from awareness and driven by compassion.
2. Yoga
3. Crystals
4. Music therapy
5. Art therapy
6. Metaphysical healing
7. Visualisation and meditation
8. Finding Mindfulness in the mundane
9. Universal laws.

 

Chapter 1:  1 month to 2yrs.

Chapter 2:   2yrs to 6yrs.

Chapter 3:  6-12yrs

Chapter 4: 7-12yrs

Chapter 5: 8-14yrs

Chapter 6: 14-21 yrs.

Chapter 1:

As children take their first breathe in the world, they try with all their might, then they let out a whimper and cry. From that day on until their first trauma or scary situation or stress, children breathe full breathes.  When I took my first full breath as a stressed out, overworked, separated mother of three who nearly lost her life in a car accident, I cried too.  Then as I went through the motions of creating a less stressful happy life for myself and my children, I slowly began to see (after hitting a few pitfalls) that I hadn’t been breathing properly or living fully for a very long time, as the person I was born to be or felt that I was deep inside.  I also hadn’t been there fully for my family. 

Babyhood: Child development theory.  Learning through their senses.  Sensory motor : Sensory motor stage- birth to 2yrs.  Recognises self as agent of action and begins to act intentionally: eg. pulls a string to make a mobile move. (Piaget).

 

Theory behind this task:  Attachment theory:  Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Bowlby (1980).  In short found in her studies that; ‘if we don’t get enough love and attach ourselves to a primary caregiver (who meeds our survival needs) then it’s harder later to give out love.’  The distress felt by not having these needs met can cause mental health issues if sustained.  These are innate behaviours of infants and young children that have evolved over human kind.  Once these basic needs are met then children can go on to be more resilient with continued positive feelings.

Related Buddhist theory: Avairsvarya, attachment.

Help children to regulate their feelings at this age.  Help them deal with failures (there part of life) and praise directly and specifically their successes and positive behaviours.

Help them work through their difficult behaviours: Refer to tool-box of ideas for this age group:  Label feelings, breathe, work at solving problem together.  Review how that went if it starts to happen again and repeat, pointing out how the strategy worked before.  Later do some yoga. Hold a crystal together and make affirmations.  Use aromatherapy.  Massage.  Relaxation or meditation CD.

Tell them “you love them, but just not their behaviour.”  Forgive yourself if you get it wrong and say sorry when you have to.  Effective Social functioning:  can result from a connection with someone in a positive way takes place.  We know how to regulate our own feelings.  We can relate these feelings to others (including all living creatures) and better understand them and feel empathy.

 

(References: Bowlby.J. (1980). Attachment and Loss Vol 1,2 and 3. New York: Basic Books.)

 

Depression and anxiety

Depression and anxiety are debilitating and potentially serious illnesses that can affect anyone, any time.  More than 3 million Australians live with anxiety and depression.  Medical treatments only going part the way in helping to cope with these illnesses and you can’t just phone a friend and bring yourself out of (although social isolation can play a part.) I know as I’ve been there and it runs in my family.  Each child brought on post natal depression for me up to one year sometimes from the birth of my child, but as I was aware of it I could take steps to help myself. 

Some of those were: do some form of exercise as often as possible.  I liked to go for walks, do pilates and yoga. Some yoga studios offer mums and bubs classes or you can hire DVDs on the same.  Use aromatherapy to calm yourself and your baby.  For example; put a drop of Lavender on your shoulder and rock the baby to sleep as they rest on your shoulder. 

Nothing lasts. Everything is impermanent. (Buddhism). The moment will pass, the 'stage' your child is in will pass. Keep an open mind and treat our children with kindness and compassion and consistency they are more likely to develop internal control. The moods we feel in different times in parenthood will also pass. We can think negative feelings can last forever when we are depressed at times as a parent, we can 'catastrophize' our moment, our troubles (eg. Make a mountain out of a mould hill, become a drama queen), rather than seeing it as a time to learn and suffering can help us move forward to higher ground.

Chapter 2:  2yrs to 6yrs:

Autonomy vs self-doubt:  is about learning to become independent in a safe and encouraging environment.  If you allow children to make choices where they can be made, allow them to try to do things for themselves before jumping in and letting them take considered risks in a safe way, then they will grow to have a better self-esteem and ‘I can do it’ attitude.  They can also learn to take considered risks, be independent and not be easily led.  (Autonomy vs self-doubt- Piaget). 

 

Egocentrism:  Child development theory.  A term coined by Piaget (1976) whom was a biologist.  His views have been enormously influencial in educational theory.  Egocentrism is important for parents to understand as it can explain some reactions that children have that the everyday parent cannot see any reason behind.  Egocentrism is when children belief, “I am the centre of my universe” and everything should revolve around them.  This is evident at this stage of a child’s development and doesn’t mean they will end up self- centred, egotistical tyrants.  They just have an inability at this stage to sometimes see the world as someone else does and adapt to it.  Not moral ‘selfishness’ but just an early stage of psychological development. 

 

Pre-operational stage:  2-7yrs.  Learns to use language and to represent objects by images and words.  Children at this age may find trouble finding words to express their emotions.  It is our role to help them.  (Atherton, J.S (2013) Learning and Teaching: Piaget’s development theory (on-line: UK) retrieved 5 Feb, 2015 from http://www.learning and teachinginfo/learning/piaget.htm).

 

Tell them how proud they should be of themselves, not just for altruistic reasons but for themselves.  This can assist them in building intrinsic motivation, which means they will more likely do things for themselves and to make themselves feel happy rather than trying to please others or always get a reward.  This can encourage later goal setting and a love of learning later at school, as they learn how to be curious about the world and take part in it energetically and feel their own sense of control over their environment.  (Bruner, 1962).

Related Buddhist teachings:

According to yoga there are eight bhavas, or states of the intellect (buddhi).  The first one is: Dharma: self-directed discipline.

 

 

 How Buddhism can help with your parenting:

Buddhism is something anybody, anywhere from any background can practice at any time of their day.  It is not something only the rich and famous can dabble in or a hocus pocus type of weird culture.  It is just a way of being, feeling and seeing the world.  Have you ever heard the saying, “don’t sweat the small stuff”, well that is the basis of Buddhism.  Bhudda means “awakened one”.  Which brings me too what I cover as part of this chapter, which is dealing with common issues/problems at this stage of development.

2-6yrs of age.

Between 2-6yrs your child is probably at the stage of waking every night, so in actual fact, you are literally the ‘awakened one’. 

Sleeping problems:  Don’t underestimate the power of music to soothe the soul.

 

Crystals:

Children feel a great affinity with nature and crystals are a key element of our natural world.  They can play a role in assisting children in their physical, emotional and spiritual healing.  Crystals are filled with energy and are conduits of energy. They can direct, amplify and accelerate energy patterns.  You can also hold onto certain ones as you make your affirmations for yourself and with your children or for your children.  Crystals for peaceful child sleep:

My son when he was little was drawn to gemstones and crystals and began a collection of them at a young age. Although I wasn’t aware of their healing powers back then (he is now 21yrs old), but I noticed the natural gravitation he had towards them and encouraged it.

Gemstones and crystals have been used for more than 5,000 years in China, India and other ancient cultures.  As a parent you can research different gemstones and crystals which can specially support children with various issues and challenges.  Note which ones your child is naturally drawn too.  Charoite and Amber- aids with insominia and difficulty settling into sleep. ( Note: never leave a crystal in a young child’s bed due to possibility of choking hazard.  Put it somewhere nearby but out of reach).

 

Aromatherapy:

Lavender is a good choice for relaxation.  However, not a good choice if your child suffers from hay-fever as lavender could irritate their sinuses.  Roman chamomile is a good choice for small children.  It is best to add the essential oils to a tissue and rest it nearby or use a scented eye pillow.  You can also use them in the bath before bed.  (Note: be sure to keep the bottles of essential oils away from the children). 

 

 Calm parenting and consistency at bed-time.  Consistency in bedtime rituals, where possible, is very important at this stage.  For example we always strived for, ‘bath, bed, story then sleep every night when our children were this age. 

Babies and children can have music on to soothe them to sleep (we all know this) but did you know what it actually does?  Relaxing music reduces the activity of the nervous system resulting in decreased heart rate, slower breathing and lower blood pressure much like a state of meditation.  Music can be a great, ‘sleep medicine’ for you and your child at any age (Retrieved 2015 www.Time For wellness.org,  Original article care of Benjamin Brown, ND. C2014. ). 

 

 

Meditate: Meditation can also be called; contemplation, prayer, even if it is only on the toilet or doing the dishes in silence.  This is your quiet to time to focus your breath and go deeper into your own silence.  This time helps me to deal with the hectic external world.  To look within yourself to find your own answers to the questions you have.  Within you and in silence you can visit your true self.  It is really not that hard, complex or strange once you start for just a couple of minutes a day.  You will feel calm, focused and I promise you, everyone around you will benefit too. 

Related universal laws:  Allow truth within yourself, to heal yourself.  The divine within you know how to heal.  As human beings we have free will, ask for help through prayer (meditation) if needed and then trust that you will receive it by the act of asking. 

 

7-12yrs child.

 

Setting affirmations for yourself and with your child:

Affirmations are part of the process of setting goals in your life and achieving those goals.  It focuses your mind on what is really important to you.  The affirmations can relate to your mind, body, spirit.  As a parent, carer you can help children to set affirmations for peace and calm in their lives or to achieve goals.  Put them in a diary or on the fridge and re-visit them each day and evaluate them regularly.  For a child who is less than confident they can work wonders.  Children can practice them in the mirror each morning.  To help write these affirmations there are many self -help and self- development websites that can help.  Do away with your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.  Use visualisation techniques to help you along the way.  See yourself as the person you want to become, doing the job role that you’d love to have, talking in front of a group with confidence, passing that driving test.  Several studies have been carried out in America finding that setting positive affirmations assisted in a decrease in depressive symptoms and negative thing. (Mind Tools, Essential Skills for an excellent career, Mind Tools Ltd, 1996-2015). There is a saying that, “you can only reach as high as the hole in the bucket.  If you have a hole that needs filling to reach a full bucket and fulfilment in life then look within yourself and ask, “do I have the skill set to go where I want to go?”  “Do I have the right intentions?” (morally and spiritually) then send out the positive intentions to the universe both physically and mentally.

 

 

Chakras: The energy lines that run through the centre of our bodies.  If there is a blockage in any one of the 7 chakras then our energy flow is inhibited in this area.  Research chakras and use crystals placed over specific Chakra areas to increase healing within this area.  For example; when meditating; Amethyst placed over the Third Eye area can enable a much greater connection with higher awareness and communication. 

 

Meditation and the Chakras:  To reach your higher purpose and to help your children to do the same; meditate through your crown chakra (location: Top of the head, Colour: white, Crystal: Clear Quartz).  Yoga assists the Chakras to open and balance.  We can then go about healing ourselves through our chakras.

Poses to open the crown chakra:  Savasana, half lotus, headstand (Headstand, not appropriate for children; donkey kicks is a good alternative or dolphin pose) Adults can practice only if an experienced yogi and will doctor clearance and an experienced instructor/guru.

Chants to open the crown chakra: NG.

The experience of mindfulness is one of clear alertness and will bring inner peace, which will be felt by your children who will then internalise it themselves. 

The one, two, three of why children at this stage or any of the following, act inappropriately:

1.  Consistency is not part of their world.
2. Expectations for the child are not age-appropriate
3. There basic needs are not being met.
    
   Chakras: The energy lines that run through the centre of our bodies.  If there is a blockage in any one of the 7 chakras then our energy flow is inhibited in this area.  Research chakras and use crystals placed over specific Chakra areas to increase healing within this area.  For example; when meditating; Amethyst placed over the Third Eye area can enable a much greater connection with higher awareness and communication. 
    
   Practice mindfulness (focusing on the present moment): as you go for a walk, do mundane chores.  See the world with a more intense eye, notice it’s natural beauty.  Look at the world as if you were an artist and study the shapes, patterns and colours of the natural world around you.  Listen to the wind, the birds, your footsteps.  Take notice of your feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations throughout the day.  When playing or listening to your children, tune out from everything else and just ‘be there’.  Be conscious of your wandering thoughts and distractions and be the best listener you can be. 
   Empathetic listening will create a calmer, more warm environment. 
    
    
   Common issues at this stage of development:
    
   Dealing with fussy eaters (children) and eating for your own health.
   Consider vata, pita, Kapha types in Buddhism. These are mind-body types. For children offer some choices, cook together.  The ‘doshas’ in Buddhism express particular patterns of energy and unique blends of physical, emotional and mental characteristics.  In Ayurveda, health is defined as the dynamic state of balance between mind, body and environment.  Researching your child’s predominant mind-body types and considering an eating plan for them and yourself can fuel your body and mind more efficiently.  For example: I’m predominantly a ‘Vita’ type so I am prone to worrying and my digestion is affected by this, so I have to be careful of avoiding gastric reflux and stomach upsets.  I use diet, meditation, focus on my breathing and chakras and yoga to help with these tendencies.  I have high emotions as a ‘vita’ type and I sometimes need a longer ‘savasana’ relaxation time at the end of yoga.   Patanjali wrote: yoga is the setting of the mind into silence.  When the mind has settled, we are established in our essential nature, which is unbounded consciousness. 
    
   How universal laws can help:  As we learn to accept ourselves as we are, we can better except our children as they are without judgement.  I used to say to my children at this stage (and still do), what I read once, “I love you, but not your behaviour”. 
   Autonomy vs self-doubt:
    
   How do I feel as a parent, carer, teacher?  How you feel radiates out into the world.  Children are very sensitive to your emotions.  To reach higher consciousness and vibrations within the body is to feel love, joy and peace in life and be flowing in life.  As humans we rely too much on external factors for happiness.  If we do this then ultimately sadness is the opposite and we live in ‘duality’ of the two.  A conscious person uses ‘awareness and response’ and not ego and reaction.  Teaching ourselves and our children to think before they speak and act is vitally important.  In addition to this we need to not blame others for our circumstances and choices we have made in our life and teach children ownership’ of their behaviour. 
    
   Karma: Raising our consciousness avoids negative Karma. 
    
   Possible reasons behind these behaviours:
   Angry and destructive behaviour:  Children don’t act up to make you angry, they do so because of the way they feel.  Getting to the root of the problem always makes a difference.  One of the Buddhist believes is that of skilful action:  Pali Kulsala.  Skillful action has a moral and technical element.  Unskilful or inappropriate action comes from suffering.  If we look deeper into the reasoning for our children’s behaviour then we can remain calm and choose a response.  Compassion and wisdom lie at the heart of Buddhist teachings and the opposite is ‘idiot compassion’, compassion without wisdom.
   How to help:
   Doshis and diet.
    It maybe that the child is a ‘pitta’ type in their doshi and needs nourishment to cool the fire in their belly. 
   Aromotherapy
   Roman chamomile can help with soothing tantrums (Use sparingly if pregnant or breastfeeding).
    
    
   Fighting siblings, tantrums
   “I have a problem and I don’t know how to express it”  Lack of language ability.  Help them to label their feeling.  “I am angry because he took my truck”, when able to use a small sentence.  Or say, “‘show me’ what’s the matter?”
   Children have a faster breathing rate per minute.  For children two to five year olds it is 20-30 breaths per minute.  Encourage them to slow their breath down but don’t expect it to be as slow as yours. Ask your child to slow down their breathing when stressed and help count it out for them at a rate they can keep up with.  As a last resort use consistent consequences that relate to the behaviour, for example; turn off the TV if they are fighting over what to watch.
    
   Yoga for the 2-5yr olds.
   Using breathing rate above.
    

Yoga plan for 2-4yr old group..

Blow onto feathers

Games: pot of paint- hand in red.splots. Foot in green. Stripes etc.

Windy trees: freeze in trees: wind person blows trees over.

Caterpillar cocoon: roll up in mat. Come out in butterfly.

 

Action, rest, action.

 

Farmyard yoga.

Props: feather, finger puppet, soft toys, 'Oh Dear' children's book.

 

Shimmy, shimmy warm up.frog puppet and frog jumps.

 

Grandma asks for a big basket of eggs- draw attention to basket( butterfly pose).

Be an egg in a basket, count eggs.

Visit cow- cow pose.

Pig- curly tails leg rotation. Then on back mum does Thia massage leg rotation for

curly tails.

Sheep behind a bush and tree- tree pose - windy trees game.

Sheep- shake your wool fast and slow.

Horse- downward dog with kickbacks.

Dog- downward dog. Then mum downward dog- pat mummy. Mummy has tail, hold tail.

Rabbit, bunny- kneeling lean heads together smell cupped hands in centre. Quick bunny

breathes.

Duck in pond- wAlk with arms flapping.

Chicken- child pose- plant a small egg shape behind child.

 

Fly over to mum in aeroplane, then on a boat- look through mummies legs- open and

close.  On mummies back in aeroplane and crocodile then your turn.

 

Relaxation- bolster for child's head or pillow. Bolster for mum in open butterfly

inverted over inclined bolster. Child has soft toy on belly. Quiet music playing, hum a

nursery rhyme.

Use bell to sit up. Namaste and stamp.

 

Emotional well-being:  What is emotional well-being?

Laevers’ (1994) ‘Sound well-being results from satisfaction of basic needs – the need for tenderness and affection; security and clarity; social recognition; to feel competent; physical needs and for meaning in life.  It includes happiness and satisfaction, effective social functioning and the dispositions of optimism, openness, curiosity and resilience.’

 

Resilience:  is about the ability to deal with and succeed in difficult situations and events.  Resilience is a mix of key skills and characteristics of a person and the social supports and environment in which we live.  A. Fuller (1998) puts it nicely when he says: “Resiliency is the happy knack of being able to bungy jump through the pitfalls of life.”

Affirmations for resilence.

Yoga for resilence.

 

Compliment your children when they are socially competent.

Assist them in problem-solving through life.

Give them Autonomy with safe boundaries.

Tell them that they are the ones who can create their future.

 

Role model: 

Responsiveness to others.

Flexibility.

Empathy/caring.

Communication skills.

Sense of humour’ without sarcasm. 

( From Surviving to thriving, Andrew Fuller, 1998).

 

 

 

 

 

Bibliography:

www.//Mama and Baby Love.  Retrieved 5/2/15.  Healing ourselves so we can nourish and love our families. 

Aromotherapy for Mothers and Babies by Alison England, R.N

 

 

 

Recommended reading:  Crystal Therapy: How to heal and empower your life with crystals, by Doreen Virtue.