Sunday, 18 June 2017
Help for anxiety in children and andolescents
Help for anxiety in
children and adolescents.
One in three children now have a formal diagnosis of anxiety
in Australia.This is a worrying
statistic, considering also that anxiety can contribute to other diseases and
physical conditions, such as obesity, heart disease and an array of other
mental and physical ailments.>
Most of the children diagnosed have been found to have
anxiety due to the pressures on them in the school system. I have always believed in Australia that we
send our children too early to school. I
myself have done it! I sent my first and second child to school at four and a
half with the kindergarten teacher’s advice that they were ready, only to find
later that they along with many other undiagnosed children with anxiety back 10
to 20 years ago, were struggling in a system they were not ready for. Later I realised the best thing to do for my
second child was to repeat grade 6 in a different school and catch up and start
over to restore her faith in herself and lift her self-esteem so she could
start learning again.
However, all children are different, and what works for one
child may not work for the next.
Research has shown that, like Sweden and other parts of Europe, where
they start their children in school at around six or seven years of age,
actually have more high achieving students and lowest rates of learning
disorders and school drop-outs. With
these statistics I find it hard to understand why we in Australia still put our
children in school so early. I understand
that often children have been in the same child-care environment since they
were babies and they may need a different environment to start to thrive again with
different stimulus’s, which is why I thought of a new idea of a ‘pre-pre prep’
environment as an option? Or at least
Government support incentives for parents to stay home longer with their
children from the start with community supports to assist them in Prep-
readiness ideas for their own children.
Neuroscientists have found that play is the central
mechanism for children’s learning, particularly in early childhood. Despite the evidence, an extended period of
high- quality, play-based preschool education in early childhood is still
undervalued in Australia, England and other western societies.
Now back to the topic of anxiety. What is anxiety?
It is a normal response to a perceived threat.
<
It is a physical, behavioural and cognitive
response in the body.
Humans have it to protect us from danger and
some stress is good for us, but when it is out of control it can cause
debilitating effects to an individual.
Some level of anxiety is good for us as it gives
us energy and motivation to do our best and get things done.
Children, adolescents and adults alike can present with
different physical and behavioural characteristics when dealing with
anxiety. Some will be shy, clingy,
withdrawn, teary when dealing with anxiety and surprisingly for some parents,
their child will present as oppositional, irritable and aggressive. These
behaviours can result in fear, avoidance of a situation, sleep problems.
Additional physical signs can be sweaty palms, feeling that
your heart is racing, crying, feeling sick and nausea. Cognitive responses can manifest as lack of
attention, speaking fast, stutter, memory problems, worrying
Development of anxiety can come from
biological/genetic influences and general temperament, a stress or trauma that
has occurred in a child’s life and/or environmental learning influences, that
is; >can role model positive responses to anxiety
or negative ones.
Changes in the teenage brain.
Daniel Siegal (2016) talks about
the teenage brain in his youtube video from the Dalai Lama Centre for Peace and
Education.
In teenagers, their seemingly hyper
rational thinking is not just from their hormones. Re-modelling of the brain is taking place,
which sparks significant changes in their behaviour and how they feel. On the down side the increase in dopamine can
make them feel moody and irrational, but on the up-side they can be filled with
passion and creative ideas. We have all
seen the wonderful ideas brought forward by teen entrepreneurs
These changes in the brain
encourage them to move away from their peers and want to be with their friends
more.; This is a normal part of human
evolution as teens begin to feel safety in association with other teens. This can spark an urgency in being accepted
and liked by their peers and an irrational response if feeling rejected. I had a peer in high school commit suicide
and wrote a note to her parents stating that ‘without any friends, there was no
point to living’. The ABS statistics
reveal that, the number of teenage girls who die by suicide has risen. In 2015,
56 girls between the ages of 15 and 19 ended their lives, up from 38 in 2014
It’s important that we as mentors
show compassion and empathy as teens go through this necessary faze of human
development. We can encourage positive
social engagement which teaches them connection in their relationships and in the
community
>
These changes in the brain
encourage them to move away from their peers and want to be with their friends
more. This is a normal part of human
evolution as teens begin to feel safety in association with other teens. This can spark an urgency in being excepted
and liked by their peers and an irrational response if feeling rejected. I had a peer in high school commit suicide
and wrote a note to her parents stating that ‘without any friends, there was no
point to living’. The ABS statistics
reveal that, the number of teenage girls who die by suicide has risen. In 2015,
56 girls between the ages of 15 and 19 ended their lives, up from 38 in 2014.
How yoga and mindfulness can help.
">Yoga is recommended as a complementary therapy for people with anxiety
or eating disorders. Yoga reduces cortisol levels which is a stress hormone and
on-going practice can work at levelling out an ongoing mental health issue
where cortisol has increased over time. Yoga helps to make participants more
aware of their mind and body connection. As you move through postures and
breathe noticing how you move and feel at the same time heightens. Responding
to feelings relating to anxiety and registering all sensations in the body are
enhanced. It then becomes ‘a mindful meditation.’
>Mindfulness practices and exercises can also help with anxiety, stress,
pain and illness.
I read a lovely Chinese quote to explain mindfulness:
Mindfulness means; ‘presence of heart’.
Compassion and mindfulness go together as the quality of mindfulness can
bring feelings of gratitude and simplifies understanding ourselves. It is a core universal emotion and derives
from an innate ability to want to care for our young with presence of
Mindfulness can serve to remind
ourselves that we should be grateful for being here and make it a real presence
of mind experience and trust this is where we ought to be in our journey. Spaciousness of awareness can be explained as
compassion, as we open our awareness to the wider community and support each
other and recognise we are all connected in some way in this world. ‘Ahimsa’
(non-violence) in yoga philosophy includes compassion and (many other religions
have a similar word for being kind to all living things).
In addition, yoga poses coupled with mindfulness and
breathing practices assists children to take control of their ‘monkey mind’ and
learn to be still for a moment. The John
Hopkins University (USA) found in a study that, ‘mindfulness meditation reduced
the symptoms of anxiety to some degree across studies’, 2014, JAMA Internal
Medicine.
Exercises
>Tighten and
release into different parts of their body.
Breath in as you tighten and squeeze your hands, shoulders, legs,
stomach, feet and face, then breath out as you release.
Shake out
your worries: stand on one foot and shake other leg out counting up to six or
seven, then switch legs. Next, shake again alternative legs, but this time
counting down from seven to one.
Pay
attention to your thoughts and label them: ‘Is this my anxiety talking that is
making my body feel the way it does?’ label those feelings then chose a
strategy to deal with them.
Think of
three things you are grateful for? In particular if teens, have trouble
thinking of three good things then brainstorm with them to get them
started. Keep a journal of these each
day. Explain to children even when they
are feeling worried they can still think of good things too and have more then
one feeling at a time.
>A
study found that adults that practised gratitude showed more emotional support
to others as a result of journaling gratitude. (University of California and
University of Miami, R. Emmons Ph.D and M. McCullough). The university of Texas Health Science Centre
found in another study that, 'a growing body of research shows gratitude is
truly amazing in its physical and psychosocial benefits.’
So,
practice gratitude with your children for a healthy heart, mind and body and in
turn the world may become a more kind society overall for everyone.Go for a
‘mindful’ walk. Notice five things you
can see, four things you can smell and three things you can touch or notice
five things in different colours. Next
time take a camera and encourage child to take photos of the things they find.
You could make a little, ‘mindfulness book’ of beautiful things to look at
together or frame them for calming their minds in the bedroom.
We
practice mindfulness in order to have contentment and calm in our lives. Positive
role modelling in stress and anxiety control is so important as parents.
And.. of course don’t forget to calm your mind with some deep
breathing. Remember also to think about
what is the worse thing that could happen in any given situation and anything
up from that is a good thing right?
I tell my clients, young and old, I know this is true, as I’ve dealt with anxiety
taking over in my younger days with embarrassing results to say the least, but
I’m still here and can actually laugh about it now. Sometimes sharing these stories with children
is a good idea to so they know they are not alone and not abnormal and maybe
have a good belly laugh too!
But on a more serious note the rates of anxiety in young children, domestic violence involving
children, suicide in teenagers, addiction to ‘screens’, and obesity in our
nation, should be enough encouragement to do something and gift our children
with repeated practices and strategies to support anxiety control.
"Einstein: ‘Free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion’… for
ourselves and others.
<
<
Ford, M. Australian suicide deaths rising among
women and teenage girls, ABS figures show.
Updated, Sept. 29, 2016. Retrieved from abc.net.au on 5/01/17.
Daniel Siegal (2016) Dalai Lama Centre for Peace and
Education. Retrieved, 4/01/17.
– Zinn, Founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic and
the centre for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care.
Waters, L. Sept -November 2014, ‘Yoga for eating issues: anecdotes and
evidence’, Australian Yoga Life.>Whitebread, D. 2014, ‘Hard Evidence: at what age are children ready for
school’. The Conversation.com.
(Tracey holds a Bach. Of Early Childhood, Bach. Of Education, Yoga cert
and kid’s yoga training. She offers yoga
for anxiety in children and other public and private classes and workshops, as
well as massage therapy. Visit Yogamotorkills.com, f: yogamotorskills, Pinterest:
Yogamotorskills and kidscreativeashdown/maclayblog.)
Wednesday, 14 June 2017
How domestic violence can be a part of anyone's life.
It can get messy, it can get very nasty and sometimes your lucky to come out of it alive and your family members, its domestic violence. It's a hard topic to discuss and own up to being a victim because we are somehow looked upon as second class citizens who can't stand up for ourselves. But we can and we did, our only fault was to maybe love too easily and be an 'empath' quite often, which makes us even more vulnerable to those with difficulties in life and we want to help them. We may also lack in self-esteem and that is why when someone appears who seems infatuated with you, you are flattered and you mistake their possessiveness for caring and their crazy jealousy for true love. You trust too easily. To fall hard and ultimately you have to dig yourself back out again.
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
2nd generation story- mum's story Chapter 10
The authorities decided to flood a valley in the next state and my dad decided he wanted to see the dam before it flooded so he took my mum and myself and older brother on a long two trip. It was a good time and probably one of the better times I remember.
When I was three I was badly scolded by a kettle on the stove down my arm and neck. That was a trauma for my parents and myself.
I also remember when I was just school age my dad had a 50th birthday party and as I slept in my room our house was broken into and they came in through my bedroom window and stole all the liquor and cigarettes. That traumatised me also and I then would never sleep in my bed the whole night and would go into parent's bed for the next 5 years.
We moved to Curl Curl, NSW when my dad had finished building our house there. In the new house I was able to sleep in my bed.
My mum and dad worked every single weekend at the Manly Fun Pier, an amusement park, so when I was little I used to sleep in my mums ticket box in a small bassinet. When I was older I would ride all day on the rides. When I was about 12 I would swim at the local swim club then come back to mum at the amusement park. I would cook my own meals and stay home from about that age on. I would do some housework, like bring the clothes off the line. My parents would come home at about 10pm each weekend night.
My dad spent weeknights after work at Manly pub. I heard he drank about 6 to 10 schooners every night.
(each time I blog the story will go back and forth from generations. Previous post was third generation).
When I was three I was badly scolded by a kettle on the stove down my arm and neck. That was a trauma for my parents and myself.
I also remember when I was just school age my dad had a 50th birthday party and as I slept in my room our house was broken into and they came in through my bedroom window and stole all the liquor and cigarettes. That traumatised me also and I then would never sleep in my bed the whole night and would go into parent's bed for the next 5 years.
We moved to Curl Curl, NSW when my dad had finished building our house there. In the new house I was able to sleep in my bed.
My mum and dad worked every single weekend at the Manly Fun Pier, an amusement park, so when I was little I used to sleep in my mums ticket box in a small bassinet. When I was older I would ride all day on the rides. When I was about 12 I would swim at the local swim club then come back to mum at the amusement park. I would cook my own meals and stay home from about that age on. I would do some housework, like bring the clothes off the line. My parents would come home at about 10pm each weekend night.
My dad spent weeknights after work at Manly pub. I heard he drank about 6 to 10 schooners every night.
(each time I blog the story will go back and forth from generations. Previous post was third generation).
chapter 10-scared away
I settled into some kind of routine with my newborn and life was pretty calm. I tried to look on the upside that Mitchell and I were healthy and life could only get better. I was still frightened for his well-being all the time and rolled him in his pram everywhere I went so I could see him. Which wasn't hard in a one room flat! I don't think I showered for the first three days as I didn't want to put him down. I carried him in a pouch to the outside laundry and back and hung out the washing tha way too.
Marc called me from Alice Springs and said he was working. I didn't care as I was glad it was peaceful. One night mum came around to dinner and shared a story with me. Mum liked to tell stories in a way that had an affect, so she'd kind of build it up as a massive secret and then spill the drama. She told me that after I had complained about Marc's threats to her that she told her Italian boyfriend and he said he could, 'fix it'.
Apparently a few men had stopped Marc on his way home from my place in a park and had given him a warning in a very strong way that he ought to make himself scarce around me and Mitchell or he'd end up in hospital! Two broken legs I believe was one of the threats. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I'd always been a pacifist and had only found my voice and unfortunately my anger since meeting Marc. Marc was viably agitated when he told me he was leaving the state. he left the next day. Of course I didn't miss him. I just got on with looking after my little one. I was very independent and took him for walks each day. One day a lady in a chemist said how 'clean' Mitchell was each time she had seen him. I knew why as I was pretty paranoid about him looking and smelling nice. He was and continues to be the love of my life. On one particular windy day in Glenelg, Adelaide we were walking along a path near the beach. I turned his pram around so I could keep the wind and cold out. Mitchell came down with a cold a few days latter and I was always s hard on myself if anything happened like this and blamed myself for walking him in the wind. Whilst Marc was away my mother suggested I move to Sydney as she wanted to move their closer to my brother and I should 'disappear' before Marc returned. I did as she said d and packed up again to move. I quickly found a granny flat to live in in Mona Vale. I was terribly lonely and a little depressed. Marc hadn't slept through in 6 months. I was exhausted. I joined a mother's group but felt left out as most mums were older and had bought a house and very secure it seemed. I didn't want pity on myself so I didn't say much. I met one younger mum I connected with and we spent some time together. One night I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and I rang Marc's sister for a chat. Mum hadn't arrived yet. She told me where Marc was and I was silly enough to contact him- 'just to say that we were ok' as I did feel guilty for diapoearing as I thought he had a right to see his son. Anyway, Marc was in MONA Vale within a week on my doirstep. I told mum what I had done as she was due any day and she was very angry. There was a lot of talk about, ' after all I've done for you' etched.
Marc called me from Alice Springs and said he was working. I didn't care as I was glad it was peaceful. One night mum came around to dinner and shared a story with me. Mum liked to tell stories in a way that had an affect, so she'd kind of build it up as a massive secret and then spill the drama. She told me that after I had complained about Marc's threats to her that she told her Italian boyfriend and he said he could, 'fix it'.
Apparently a few men had stopped Marc on his way home from my place in a park and had given him a warning in a very strong way that he ought to make himself scarce around me and Mitchell or he'd end up in hospital! Two broken legs I believe was one of the threats. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I'd always been a pacifist and had only found my voice and unfortunately my anger since meeting Marc. Marc was viably agitated when he told me he was leaving the state. he left the next day. Of course I didn't miss him. I just got on with looking after my little one. I was very independent and took him for walks each day. One day a lady in a chemist said how 'clean' Mitchell was each time she had seen him. I knew why as I was pretty paranoid about him looking and smelling nice. He was and continues to be the love of my life. On one particular windy day in Glenelg, Adelaide we were walking along a path near the beach. I turned his pram around so I could keep the wind and cold out. Mitchell came down with a cold a few days latter and I was always s hard on myself if anything happened like this and blamed myself for walking him in the wind. Whilst Marc was away my mother suggested I move to Sydney as she wanted to move their closer to my brother and I should 'disappear' before Marc returned. I did as she said d and packed up again to move. I quickly found a granny flat to live in in Mona Vale. I was terribly lonely and a little depressed. Marc hadn't slept through in 6 months. I was exhausted. I joined a mother's group but felt left out as most mums were older and had bought a house and very secure it seemed. I didn't want pity on myself so I didn't say much. I met one younger mum I connected with and we spent some time together. One night I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and I rang Marc's sister for a chat. Mum hadn't arrived yet. She told me where Marc was and I was silly enough to contact him- 'just to say that we were ok' as I did feel guilty for diapoearing as I thought he had a right to see his son. Anyway, Marc was in MONA Vale within a week on my doirstep. I told mum what I had done as she was due any day and she was very angry. There was a lot of talk about, ' after all I've done for you' etched.
Monday, 5 June 2017
Chapter 9- emotions run high
It wasn't long before Mitchell's father wanted to see him, so I arranged to meet him in a local park. It also didn't take long for him to try and talk me into another chance with him. Which I wasn't willing to take. After the visit I walked home and not long after there was a knock at the door. Of course it was Mitchell's father. He wanted to talk again and I was tired and told him to leave. He quickly became agitated and wanted to see Mitchell. I said he was sleeping, which he was. He pushed in past me and went to his bassinet where Mitchell had begun to stir. He picked him up and said, "you know I could walk straight out of here with him if I liked.' I felt sick with anger and said, 'over my dead body' and stood at the door. He stood there holding Mitchell staring at me with his piercing green, cat like eyes and I thought for a moment that I was glad Mitchell seemed to have eyes more blue like mine as I couldn't stand looking into those eyes again for the rest of my life. I said, 'you couldn't look after him, he needs his mother'. r. Just rebuked, that it would be easier than I thought. I blocked the doorway and told him I would ring the police if he didn't put him down. He said quickly he didn't care and that he would be long gone before they got here. I my mind was racing and I knew I had to change tactics with him. I pretended I wanted to see him again and that we could talk again about us if he would just leave Mitchell with me. This tactic worked better and he settled down. He finally left and I sat and worried about what I was going to do next. Mitchell wasn't an easy baby either and I'd hadn't had much rest and he seemed hungry all the time. I was looking forward to the midwifes visit coming up so I could ask for some advice.
My mum called the next day from work and I told her what had happened with Mitchell. That night Mitchell turned up again at our door. He looked all dishevelled and his green eyes were darting about this time. He sat down and quickly explained that he had work in Alice Springs, the Northern Territory and that he had to leave straight away to work with his dad. I was very pleased! But I didn't show it and calmly wished him well. He said he'd be back in a few weeks or months though depending on work. It didn't matter to me as the longer the better I secretly thought. That night I tested a little better, but I was very confused why he had changed his mind so quickly. I later found out why.
My mum called the next day from work and I told her what had happened with Mitchell. That night Mitchell turned up again at our door. He looked all dishevelled and his green eyes were darting about this time. He sat down and quickly explained that he had work in Alice Springs, the Northern Territory and that he had to leave straight away to work with his dad. I was very pleased! But I didn't show it and calmly wished him well. He said he'd be back in a few weeks or months though depending on work. It didn't matter to me as the longer the better I secretly thought. That night I tested a little better, but I was very confused why he had changed his mind so quickly. I later found out why.
Sunday, 4 June 2017
Chapter 8 continued. Finding my feet.
Home with a newborn. One room granny flat with small kitchenet. Thought I'd be good to the environment and had been given cloth nappies. Changed my first nappy in corner of my one room on change table. Tried to wrap it up tight without pricking his squirming legs with the pins. That's all I had. Mitchell soon filled the nappy after the first feed and the nappy didn't contain it all even with Plastic pants over it. I felt sick and threw it in the soak bucket. The laundry was outside and I wondered when I'd be able to get out there to wash nappies and how I'd take Mitchell. I filled a bath to clean him up on the small table in kitchen. Mitchell liked his bath on his belly, I held him carefully and then he pooped again in the bath. I took him out and dressed him warmly as it was winter in Adelaide, Australia and cold. I put him in the pram and left the bath as he was crying. Walked to the shops, as had no car and bought a box of disposables. As I walked back mum was driving past on way to my place. She couldn't believe I was out the day I got home. She came back to flat and helped clean up bath with a laugh. That was my first day home in 1993 as a single parent. I look back now and think how resilient I was and determined to do this as best I could, like I'd done everything in my life so far.
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