Gratitude for kids

http://blog.thewellnessuniverse.com/practice-gratitude-with-children-holiday/

Trauma based yoga.

Trauma based yoga Learning to be in the present moment. Be in their body. Knowing they have choices. Eg. Coming out of a pose if it hurts. Moving closer to a fan etc. They are not stuck in situation. Given choices to make movements bigger or smaller. For example in 'neck rolls'. Learning to feel into and listen to their bodies in a safe place. Being able to make healthy choices and setting personal limits. Having the choice to make small changes in the room- taking effective action, can be helpful. Guiding principle of trauma sensitive yoga is giving back a sense of power and control to the survivor. Mountain pose - feel feet on the floor, feeling grouNded with their connection to the ground, the earth. Feeling as if they can support themselves. Teaching Ng being mindful of each step and stance we take. X please note that moving into relaxation can go against resilience building in some trauma sufferers, particularly in the acute stages. Clients made need to build their strength and feelings of being able to be-friend and support their bodies again with more grounding, strength building poses before using their breath to relax, which could trigger vulnerability again. Taking effective action- moving for comfort. Notice you have total control over what you are doing with your body. Shoulder rolls, eg. Small or bigger movements. Creating interpersonal rhythms- Raising hands with breaths and then lowering. 54321 then release. Practice this instead. Ratio breathing or belly breathing. Rock forward and back and side to side then centre. Tree pose Sweeping arms out and over from mountain. Seated forward fold. Points to remember when teaching trauma sensitive yoga children to teens: - avoid emphasising- going a bit further, holding a bit longer. Students could feel they have to push their bodies rather then listening to it. Also implies being pushed into pose. - over emphasis on proper alignment. - using straps and rubber cords. - ask rather than direct. - feeling like they cannot keep up. - emphasise mindfulness and connection to their body gently. - be patient, gentle and compassionate. - help them to befriend their bodies once again. - use structure but also choice. - emphasise reading their body cues, understand their reactions. - help them to live in the present moment. - understand that this is hard as they are letting their guard down. - present moment experiences eg. Feeling connection of feet on the floor- body awareness. - help them to overcome their fears and feelings of helplessness by giving choices. Balance choice with specific instructions to also build trust and lessen anxiety. - offer choice that if it is painful they can stop. Listening to their bodies. -encourage self-care and setting personal limits. -listen to signals from their bodies to avoid injury. - emphasise doing things to help themselves feel in control and feel the experience. Yoga for trauma therapy and mindfulness benefits clients to feel whole again. Asanas for autism and special needs assists clients to feel they can acheive at something with physical benefits ts and reach their goals. Benefits: 1. Healing stored up negative energy, muscle pain and tension in the body through asanas (postures). For instance; start therapy session using one yoga pose for restoration, stretching. Open and close each session with a yoga-based practice- yoga postures, breathing exercise, guided muscle relaxation, mindfulness practice. Integrate into session to help self-regulate, self-awareness. To help: attend yoga classes yourself, use videos. Participate along with your clients for a shared experience. Grounding poses for hyperarousal- calming the body- standing mountain. Breathing exercises eg. Follow line of breathing on a drawn line- up and down. Hand on heart breathing. Hypoarousal- increasing activation of the body when unmotivated, poor posture. Seated forward fold. Recommend for clients to listen to their bodies and stop if they feel uncomfortable for any reason. Start gentle, for example; adding a little to your in breath and a little to your out breath- called, 'adding a little breath.' Centering practice- for balance in mind and body. Tree pose - the centering practice is visceral and mindful. Finding your center- noticing how you are sitting in your chair- connection to the seat, maybe rock forward and backward gently. Make your movements smaller and slower back and forth and circular. Draw in your lower belly to feel strength and stability here. Use this centering practice to investigate your centre as a source of stability. Co ordinating breath with movement- seated sun breaths. My experience- teen with anxiety. Awareness of and ability to regulate internal states. Example plan: Seated mountain pose. Breathing practices. Bringing a sense of curiosity to their thought patterns. Not so much their body- particularly if some body dismorphia has been experienced. Less focus on belly breaths - more on chest breaths. Grounding feet to the floor, standing or seated. Hypervigilence behaviours can make body calming exercises create anxiety- the body trying to protect itself and feel safe. In this case mindfulness based practices may work better. Modifying yoga based practices fr trauma sensitive clients: Use of language, assists, teacher qualities, environment, and exercises. Gently, but clearly direct attention to internal experiences whilst also inviting mindful moving and breathing. Use of 'notice' 'be curious', 'feel' for mindfulness. Assists- including what is right and best for each student to identify themselves. Environment- cleanliness, lighting, privacy, temperature, and music options. Games for those on the spectrum- child: Mirror me poses, including facial expressions. Characters for behaviour regulation - we have 'silly Cyril, balanced bear and slow turtle. We are aiming for balanced bear. Matching pose games. From my own experience - teaching high anxiety- Noticed my client- intellectualises - a 'commonly used defence, is when we spend considerable time trying to figure something out but never get to the essence of whatever it is we are trying to work out. ' Moving from his body focus from his mind seems to assist him in disengaging from over analysing his thoughts. Once his mind is more focused on his body and counting his breath he can then step more inward into understanding underlying emotions and cognitions. He learns to remain present and to notice his thoughts but not to engage in the story line of them and to develop a new relationship with his body. He can go home with a 'quieter' mind, which in turn has positive effects on his family relationships, 'and on living in the world.' This is coming about by twice weekly practice. Thx! Parent feedback/testimonial- 19yr. Old. 'He gets so worked up it’s hard for him to use an app.' 'Yoga really is helping him. Thx so much for your support and understanding🌷' Anxiety buster activities: Where do you notice stress in your physical body? Are you in the present moment? Do you practice mindfulness to disengage from the story-line you are telling yourself? If stress is there we look at problems with greater influence and narrow mindedly. We fix our thoughts and usually hold onto a limited perspective of what is happening. Ideas: reduce stress with regular physical exercise: walking, jogging and yoga postures. Daily mindfulness/ meditation practice. Eg. 10 minute breath exercise. If distracted - simply label it then return to the focus of your breath. Notice any process of 'reactivity' to what is going on around you. Write a list: What's happening. My reaction. ( include bodily sensations). When reactions happen: what are your choices? Re-connect to your breath. If your feeling stressed your thinking part of your brain is affected. You are unable to think clearly. Don't let old memories cloud your responses to experience in the present. Remember we are hard-wired to remember the bad, the fears as this was necessary for humans to survive. Do a mountain mediation from the book 'Mindfulness for mums and dads. ' Mantra ' I am safe, I am grounded and I trust that the universe has a solid plan for me.' I have access to infinite potential. Everything is a teaching for me. I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment.' Contemplate balance. Balance of your body. Balance of your mind Balance in spirituality. Contemplate balance. Balance of your body. Balance of your mind Balance in spirituality. 6 week beginner yoga, chakra balancing and meditation/mindfulness course. Individual Averydic diet plan. Vision boards, realistic goal planning . $95 per person 6 weeks- Tuesdays 10-12pm. Maximum of 6 participants. Find your true self. Feel more balanced and centred. Work through your inner energy systems and work on those that need support. Find mindfulness and the feeling of living in the present moment. Do away with negativity and bring in positive energy. Build your self-esteem and courage. Stop pretending to the world that which you are not. Become less judgemental and more forgiving. Find your purpose and serve others. Practice gratitude. Learn to observe your thoughts and begin taking control of your mind. Feel compassion for others no matter what they say or do to aggravate you. ' Dodge the arrows' thrown at you.' Be around people that, ' zap you and don't Sap you' of all your goodness. It's all up to you. Make the change happen within your body, mind and soul. Stay on the path to your own enlightenment. It's there for you, it needs commitment and time, but it can be found. It doesn't need fancy, 'out there' language and a non- analytical mind, just one that is willing to heal in its own time with its own reality and positive belief system. It needs an open mind and just respect for where these philosophies came from and how they have helped so many find a healthier, happier path with good morals and a positive outlook. Averydic diet. I have recently been more mindful of my diet and I've found benefits from following on from a diet based on my 'doshi', which is my personality type. I am mainly a 'vata' type and need nourishing, starchy type vegetables, especially in winter eg. Casseroles, hearty soups. Not too spicy foods, herbs light ginger and chamomile tea. I used to think potatoes and breads were a no no for me, but I need them to keep my weight in check and to feel full and grounded. If you would like to know more about your type of 'doshi'. I will be offering some help in this area and guidance if you'd like to try. I really do feel better and am less prone to sickness. Yoga with this type of eating has set me on a good path. Thinking 'why me?' Just leads to more misery. Pausing to breathe then thinking, what now? With compassion for yourself and others will lead to a better path. Have faith. Mindfulness what is mindfulness? Being aware of our surroundings. Focusing our minds. Mindfulness emotions: being aware of the impact our emotions can have on us. Self centred acts produce misery. Protecting ourselves from any challenge to our happiness by dwelling on ourselves and our perceived notions of outside disturbances causing our suffering, which may not even really exist but in our minds. Altruistic motivated actions work better if we are to stop the cycle of searching for happiness and creating more suffering by the self/centred behaviour. (Dalai Lama) Traditional cognitive therapy centres on how you explain your thoughts to another. Yoga therapy supports healing of your inner body and physical self, 'your emotional states that are imprinted in the state of the body's chemical profile' (Emerson,d. Hopper,e, 2011). Dealing with our emotions at a deeper level and recognising them as they arise. By noticing and observing our thoughts we can then learn to control them better and not be overwhelmed by them. Yoga therapy also focuses on treatment relating to learning to be in the present moment. Mantra ' I am safe, I am grounded and I trust that the universe has a solid plan for me.' I have access to infinite potential. Everything is a teaching for me. I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment.' Contemplate balance. Balance of your body. Balance of your mind Balance in spirituality. Contemplate balance. Balance of your body. Balance of your mind Balance in spirituality. 6 week beginner yoga, chakra balancing and meditation/mindfulness course. Individual Averydic diet plan. Vision boards, goal planning . $95:00 per person Tuesday mornings 10-12pm. Maximum of 6 participants. Find your true self. Feel more balanced and centred. Work through your inner energy systems and work on those that need support. Find mindfulness and the feeling of living in the present moment. Do away with negativity and bring in positive energy. Build your self-esteem and courage. Stop pretending to the world that which you are not. Become less judgemental and more forgiving. Find your purpose and serve others. Practice gratitude. Learn to observe your thoughts and begin taking control of your mind. Feel compassion for others no matter what they say or do to aggravate you. ' Dodge the arrows' thrown at you.' Be around people that, ' zap you and don't Sap you' of all your goodness. It's all up to you. Make the change happen within your body, mind and soul. Stay on the path to your own enlightenment. It's there for you, it needs commitment and time, but it can be found. It doesn't need fancy, 'out there' language and a non- analytical mind, just one that is willing to heal in its own time with its own reality and positive belief system. It needs an open mind and just respect for where these philosophies came from and how they have helped so many find a healthier, happier path with good morals and a positive outlook. Averydic diet. I have recently been more mindful of my diet and I've found benefits from following on from a diet based on my 'doshi', which is my personality type. I am mainly a 'vata' type and need nourishing, starchy type vegetables, especially in winter eg. Casseroles, hearty soups. Not too spicy foods, herbs light ginger and chamomile tea. I used to think potatoes and breads were a no no for me, but I need them to keep my weight in check and to feel full and grounded. If you would like to know more about your type of 'doshi'. I will be offering some help in this area and guidance if you'd like to try. I really do feel better and am less prone to sickness. Yoga with this type of eating has set me on a good path. Thinking 'why me?' Just leads to more misery. Pausing to breathe then thinking, what now? With compassion for yourself and others will lead to a better path. Have faith. References: Mindfulness for mums and dads. Overcoming trauma through yoga. Tracey. Yogamotorskills.com

Chapter 11- 1st generation-life with family domestic violence 1950's chapt. 9 My mother's story.

My brother and I played out on the street alot and my dad used to whistle at night at about 6pm to get us to come home. my mum and dad both worked every weekend at the Manly Fun Pier in Manly, Sydney. They would be there long hours and I would be taken in a basket when I was a baby and sit with mum in the ticket box. When I was older I went on the rides and to the beach and joined Manly swimming club. My parents would get home about 10pm at night and I would have done some housework for them and cooked my own dinner from the age of about 12yrs old. The atmosphere in the house was often very bad. During the week my dad would go to the pub every night and drink six to 10 beers in a sitting then come home. He was consistently drunk and came home in a really bad mood. My mother would sometimes nag him and he would get angry. My father lost his temper on many occasions. He was always very aggressive towards my brother who didnt like to retaliate. All I ever remember is my father shouting at my brother, "are you man or mouse!" At about 15yrs my brother defended himself in a fight and my dad put his fist through the wall. My mother would often faint on the floor after these episodes. My brother and I did not bring many friends home. I spent a lot of time in my bedroom looking out over the little creek outside my window with my little transistor radio up high so I couldn't hear the arguing. One time my father came home and the dinner knife was not straight on the table so he lost his temper and was saying my mother was slovenly and ripped the whole tablecloth off the table and smashed everything. My brother had a girlfriend and she fell pregnant at 19. My mother gave them Johns bedroom to sleep in for 6 months but it didnt work out as my mother and my brothers girlfriend didn't get on. So my brother and then wife left home at about 20. My father moved immediately into my brothers bedroom. The arguing continued and got worse through my teenage years. The arguing was so bad sometimes that I would go and sit out on the back steps. When I got a boyfriend we would sit out on back step and wait till the arguing died down so we could go out. My mother slept with a hammer underneath her pillow. One night I came home and my mother's nose was broken and she had black eyes. She never called the police and we were never allowed to let any of the family or friends and neighbours know what was going on. I ran around and shut all the windows so nobody would hear. My mother would tell people she had walked into a door or something to explain bruises. At 15yrs I went to live at my uncle Daves house and asked my mum to join me, but she replied, "who will make your dads lunches?' I stayed there for about three months and my mother rang me every day pleading me to come home. Eventually I came home.

Part 2 - yoga for trauma/anxiety- teens

Anxiety buster activities Where do you notice stress in your physical body? Are you in the present moment? Do you practice mindfulness to disengage from the story-line you are telling yourself? If stress is there we look at problems with greater influence and narrow mildly. We fix our thoughts and usually hold onto a limited perspective of what is happening. Ideas: reduce stress with regular physical exercise: walking, jogging and yoga postures. Daily mindfulness/ meditation practice. For example; a 10 minute breathing exercise. There are many good apps. available to guide you. If distracted - simply label the emotion/thought, then return to the focus of your breath. Notice any process of 'reactivity' to what is going on around you. Write a list: What's happening? My reaction. (include bodily sensations). When reactions happen: what are your choices? Re-connect to your breath. If your feeling stressed your front thinking part of your brain is affected. You are unable to think clearly. Don't let old memories cloud your responses to experience in the present. Remember we are hard-wired to remember the bad, the fears as this was necessary for humans to survive. Guiding principle of trauma sensitive yoga is giving back a sense of power and control to the survivor. Mountain Pose Meditation: Mountain pose feel feet on the floor. Neck rolls and choices Taking effective action- moving for comfort. Neck rolls for choices. Notice you have total control over what you are doing with your body. Shoulder rolls. Small or bigger movements. Creating interpersonal rhythms. Raising hands with breaths and then lowering. 54321 then release. Practice this instead. Ratio breathing or belly breathing. Rock forward and back and side to side then centre. Tree pose Sweeping arms out and over from mountain. Seated forward fold.

yoga for kids to teens, including treating trauma and anxiety.

Yoga involves a lot more than just the asanas- yoga postures. In my yoga classes I try to pass on ‘The eight limbs of yoga’ within the classes. The first limb is the set of Yamas and Niyamas- five observances to follow within our lives to gain more contentment and less attachment to our worries and other people. The first one being- Ahimsa: non-violence: being kind to others even if they are not kind to you. Which is harder then we think sometimes, but worth trying, as then we can see that everyone involved is less stressed if we take this action. Being kind to ourselves is something that can be followed within our yoga asana practice also. This would be by way of listening to our bodies and not over straining them to create the perfect pose (which in actual fact doesn't exist, as the perfect pose is what is what feels perfect to us within our own body. 'Himsa' is being kind, so if we treat our body as our 'temple' to cherish and care for, then we can also be more patient with ourselves and kind to our bodies as well as our inner self.Making our body our friend again is important in healing trauma. Feeling comfortable in our body and knowing we are safe and that we are in control again. The second Yama is Truthfulness. Third is 'non-stealing'. Your body is your sacred vehicle which takes you through life and we should treat it with respect by taking care of it. we don't need o obsess over it either, because that is when we loose touch of our true self.What lies beneath your outer shell and your thoughts is truly who you are. Your pure essence as you were when you were born, not tated by outside past and present influences and experiences. The fourth is 'honouring your body'. The fifth is 'non-greediness'. Even in the under 5's to teens we can mention these observances, for example; being kind, 'himsa', acting without judgement of others, sharing equipment, being respectful, helping to pack up. Did you know that the Sun Salutation is usually done with your eyes closed? This is not necessary when you first start, however over time you may find yourself doing this naturally, as it becomes a moving meditation. This traditional way must help you see that yoga is not about comparing yourself to others.Your breath and your mind are closely working together. Mental healing and physical healing can take place simultaneously. When your eyes are closed you can use a mantra like, 'so-ham' to focus your mind or count your breaths. ‘Perfection’ can be paralysing, particularly for teens, giving up and stopping them from even starting a task Again they learn from you. Do you worry over every tiny detail at work or home? Teach them to take scheduled breaks and reward themselves for completing a task. I remember in primary school I had almost no pages left in my exercise books because I'd ripped so many out due to my perfectionism. Come year 12 and I was burnt out and didn't sit my Yr. 12 exams, incase I failed! I was still awarded a pass though as the teachers thought I deserved something for all my hard work. I later went back to mature age learning. Kindness, persistence, humility and honesty are just as important as academic skills. Do you talk negatively about your own school experience to your children? Less efficient and effective learning takes place when we are multi-tasking. Encourage focus rather than multi-tasking. Do you often multi-task yourself? Be a good role-model for your child and help them to focus. Overcoming peer 'meanness' is important. If you shield him/her from trying to overcome these things teens won't be learning important life skills, including how to resolve conflict. Encourage pre-teens and teens to feel empathy for 'mean' girls, as there is usually a reason in their background that has made them behave the way they are behaving. Teach your teen to stand strong, show strength in their confidence in themselves to not be affected by another's behaviour. Top tips to help your child: #Encourage open communication with you as the parent and help them come up with their own solutions to problems. #Help them to move on eventually from the 'clique stage' to including and meeting new friends anywhere and anytime. #Encourage both close and casual friends. Not to limit herself to one friend. #Encourage her/him to be around friends who build her up and don't try to tear her down. #Be a good listener and explain to her that her friendship dilemmas should diminish (hopefully) as she gets older. #Help them to recognise the difference between a 'bitchy' gossiping clique and a more positive one, but don't try to force her to change her friends as she may then want to hang out with them more. #Subtle observations of her friends comes across better than belittling for them so the teen has to defend them. #Get to know the parents of your child's peer group. #Social connectedness and peer group acceptance is important to developing resilience. This can happen either in school or in the outside community. Both is even better. #Having at least one friend in a peer group that they can be honest and open with, helps your teen. #A sense of acceptance and belonging is the number one resilience building factor in your child's social and moral development. #Choose a school that supports psycho-social and emotional well-being as much as academic prowess. Kindness, persistence, humility and honesty are just as important as academic skills. #Try a loving, kindness affirmation with your child: - ‘May I be kind, may I be happy, may I feel at ease with my peers.’encourage them to use affirmations often to create a positive mind-set. Exercises: Mirror breathing exercises Mirror stretch exercises with them. This helps students reconnect with themselves, you as a parent and maybe a sibling. Counting the breath up to five or back from five can help children experience time and presence more clearly and see the beginning and end of a practice. As in life, we can more forward to something else without looking back or getting stuck in a posture or a thought. Reframe the behaviour- for young children. A good out-line is conveyed in the ‘Cognitive principle matrix’ of this suggestion. Relate back to and find the possible stressors, unmet needs or skills deficits that the child may be acting out because of. Read and relate to yoga- suffering and fear. Kleshas- considered in yoga philosophy as the root cause of all our suffering. (Pantanajali's yoga sutras). 1. Avidya - ignorance When we are ignorant of our true nature we experience pain and suffering. This is the part of you deep down that is always loving, peaceful and unchanging. 2. Asmata- egoism When we forget our true nature we overly identify with the concept of 'I, me and mine'. We forget that our energies are all connected and can also take things too personally and put ourselves done. 3. Raga- attachments Strong attachment to our desires. Let go of the attachment to desire things, rather have goals to work towards, which is healthier than having an obsession or perfectionism. 4. Dvesa- Aversions Letting ourselves be controlled by our desires means if they are not met then we can turn away from them and develop aversions towards them. Fear- (relates to cognitive matrix) If above ways of being are taking place we can then start to feel fear of change. If we eliminate the first Klesha, ignorance we can then dissolve all the other afflictions. If we meditate and do yoga with focus on our true nature, then there is no room for all of the above. Daily rituals of mindfulness and meditation can help. Affirmations starting with 'I am .........' ‘I am love. I am peaceful.’ This advice does not heal trauma from physical pain- tissues, bones. Here it relates to suffering of your inner self, your soul. Although you can hang onto pain in your body after the trauma, which can also be a sauce of on-going suffering relating to your true self and ultimately needs to be released with proper professional support. References: Emerson,D. Hopper, E. Overcoming Trauma through yoga. Reclaiming your body. North Atlantic Books, California. http://kids health.org. Meek, J. The five klesha said-the roots of pain and suffering. Yoga times (accessed 5 Sept. 2017). Worsley, L. The Resilience Doughnut. The secrets of strong kids. Karres ,Sherin, E. Branstetter, R. The conscious parent’s guide to raising girls.

reclaim your mind

Knowing our strengths and weaknesses. These are the skills future generations will need in emotional intelligence to succeed. Enhancing their interpersonal skills, teamwork ability and communication skills can never start too early. Yoga, mindfulness and life coaching education can help adults and young adults develop these skills and give them tools for lifelong learning and emotional peace. Ease of connection with themselves and other people will then come and treating everyone with love, compassion and kindness. The calm man is not the man that is dull. Just perfectly unselfish. No thirst for gain or fame. 2.23 the inability to distinguish between our own true self and our mind. Our mind is often fluctuating and over acting. See the role of each and separate them. 'The 'self' is within you that you can see and tap into and the external that is seen is the mind in action. Control your mind and your 'self' will benefit. Prevent future suffering by forgiving yourself for past mistakes, not being too critical of yourself as holding onto these thoughts can only serve to make you feel more miserable in your own suffering. Don't fight the tides and don't fight nature - letting go of control - a tree doesn't grow and question every part of its growth. Trusting whatever is happening, but let it be. Notice it and your mind will automatically right itself same as well-being. With too much going on in our minds we loose ability to sleep and relationships can suffer. Reclaim your time by turning off electronic devices 10-15 mins a day. At meal times keep them out of site. Block email reading into blocks of time. Set yourself and your family Boundaries with technology to avoid sleep deprivation. Out of bedroom if they can't put down. Consistent schedules in place. Coffee cut down. Stop hiding behind your screen, actually listen. Make time to just chill. Digital detox. Do you have disturbed sleep each night? Are you often irritable? Do you lack the ability to concentrate? Some of us try to Keep ourselves busy all the time and then wonder why this doesn't help. These distractions won't dissipate these behaviours long term either. A recent study has found that meditation and yoga can 'reverse' DNA reactions which cause stress, which can lead to ill-health and depression. Published in the journal, Frontiers of Immunology, the study analysed how behaviour of our genes is affected by different MBIs including mindfulness and yoga. The study followed 846 participants over 11 years and found the DNA changes benefited participants mental and physical health. These activities can reverse the effects of what stress can have on our bodies at a molecule level. This means less chance of diseases such as heart disease or cancer to take over. Yoga participants should already be aware of how continued practice can bring stress relief, but what we didn't know was how deeply our bodies physical make up was affected and how mindful activity such as yoga and Tai Chi prevented psychiatric and medical problems at a cellular level.

emotional intelligence for families and yoga

- Yogamotorskills Ashdown/Maclay yogamotorskills@gmail.com - Emotional Intelligence for your family. Stress often leads to depression, anxiety or anger. Emotions are really ‘ok’ to feel, it is just ‘how’ we deal with them that is important and learning to express them appropriately. When young children are asked what makes them happy I find the most common responses to be: Friends, family, pets, hobbies like surfing, sports and reaching goals and last, but not least, a happy home. Added to these were: Listening to favourite music, dancing. Occasional food treats. These uncomplicated activities and lifestyles are very close to many adult’s views on what makes them happy also. Let’s not over-complicate the society we live in and strive to meet these needs. In addition, think about how well does distraction work for you? What are the favourite activities you turn to for distraction, and do you move on from them feeling more or less relaxed, and more or less connected with life? Teach our children that stress can also be a positive challenge, not a threat. Wait before acting, think about it, the task at hand and use your stress response wisely to get motivated and meet your tasks and solve problems. Toxic stress can make us fat as we all know we can eat more and seek sugar when we are stressed. It’s the appeal of instant gratification, like getting that ‘like’ on facebook, we fill ourselves with a ‘feel good’ sugar hit. Try to imagine a better version of yourself and what it looks like and share this idea with your children if they are overweight and unhappy. Try instead as a parent to put a label on the emotion you are feeling in a situation and role model this to children. Tell your children when you are feeling these emotions so they do not automatically follow any negative emotions and take on your emotions as their own, as can often happen with sensitive children. You can easily make assumptions about the feelings of others by wrongly reading their facial expressions. Try to be present when talking to people and think about what might be going on for them, rather than assuming you know how their feeling or why they may be behaving in a certain way. Bring curiosity to your emotions and observe them, rather than reacting before thinking and observing what is truly going on for you and where it may be coming from. Do you feel threatened in a situation? I don't mean physically, but personally, emotionally. Once you have taken the time to process the situation, then you can react from a less agitated state (which we have learnt to use to protect ourselves from threats in bygone days as a human race). Acting more calmly in discussions and situations with your children can improve your relationships, as others will react less defensively and your children may actually listen. Ask yourself: 'do you want peace of mind or conflict?' Think about your family as you grew up. How did they deal with conflict? Were they able to express their emotions? Life will always be filled with challenges, highs and lows. We need to look at them with a different perspective and mindfulness can help. By being in the present moment and not dwelling on the time that has passed or worrying about the future, we can then allow our minds to accept what has happened and not respond in repetitive ways that we have learnt. We can get stuck in 'automatic pilot mode' and react to situations the same way every time, never trying anything different and we distract our minds from being present with alcohol, technology, food, work, whatever works to take our mind away from how we really feel in the present moment. Mindfulness and meditation works over time because our brains actually start to change and the hardwiring of our nervous systems takes on the process of mindfulness as a new system to tap into. Often people get into a negative loop of thinking that just goes around and around and nothing that they change around them will fix this way of thinking that they are set in. They can move house, change jobs, change partners and still feel unhappy. Find greater courage, clarity and insight within yourself through daily mindfulness sessions or up to 20 minutes of meditation. Learn that being bored is good for you and multi -tasking is not. Being attuned to our feelings, in tune with our bodies, reflecting on our values, aspirations, goals. Knowing our strengths and weaknesses. These are the skills future generations will need in emotional intelligence to succeed. Enhancing their interpersonal skills, teamwork ability and communication skills can never start too early. Yoga, mindfulness and life coaching education can help adults and young adults develop these skills and give them tools for lifelong learning and emotional peace. Ease of connection with themselves and other people will then come and treating everyone with love, compassion and kindness. ‘The calm man is not the man that is dull. Just perfectly unselfish. No thirst for gain or fame’ Iyengar. Iyengar, ‘Light on yoga’, continues with; Unhappiness comes from the inability to distinguish between our own true self and our mind. Our mind is often fluctuating and over acting. See the role of each and separate them. 'The 'self' is within you that you can see and tap into and the external that is seen is the mind in action. Control your mind and your 'self' will benefit. Prevent future suffering by forgiving yourself for past mistakes, not being too critical of yourself as holding onto these thoughts can only serve to make you feel more miserable in your own suffering. Those that have found who they truly are and are comfortable with themselves show as ease of connection with themselves and other people. Yoga, in conjunction with therapy, inspirational texts, and other natural approaches to well-being can facilitate healing for all of us. (Sangeeta Vallabhan). Spirituality is not some external goal that one must seek but a part of the divine core of each of us, which we must reveal (Iyendar, Light on Life). We need sound bodies so we can develop sound minds. Mantras: "I have access to infinite potential." "Everything is a teaching for me." "I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment." What do you want to harbour; resentment or love? What do you want to find; peace or conflict of mind? Yoga helps you decide. Next time you see the big M sign for McDonald's- think: take a minute for some 'mindfulness.' Mindfulness coach.com.au. Start your process of positive change with support and compassion for yourself on your journey. Find your true self. Feel more balanced and centred. Work through your inner energy systems and work on those that need support. Try these yoga poses to help: Chakra- root balancing poses Tadasana- Mountain pose Warrior one, visualise the strong, grounding colour of red going through your body. Bridge pose Standing forward bend (Uttanasana) Tree pose Boat pose Revolved powerful/chair pose. Heart chakra Camel pose Throat chakra Supported shoulder stand. Easy pose Third eye chakra Savasana – rest in ‘corpse pose’ with deep breathing. Mantra or Affirmation: ' I am safe, I am grounded and I trust that the universe has a solid plan for me.' ‘I have access to infinite potential.’ ‘Everything is a teaching for me. I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment.' Contemplate balance: Balance of your body. Balance of your mind Balance in spirituality. Mindfulness activities to help: Living in the present moment Noticing beauty around us in nature Noticing contented happy moments in life. Deeply listening to someone talking and paying attention to them. Being mindful of our thoughts and feelings before we act. Doing a random act of kindness. Recently I was struggling to eat prawns gracefully on a day cruise and a lady nearby got up without saying a word and found me a bowl of water, fork and napkin. Later I had no cash to pay for my ferry fair and another lady offered me the $3.00 fair. Final tips: Find mindfulness and the feeling of living in the present moment. Do away with negativity and bring in positive energy. Build your self-esteem and courage. Stop pretending to the world that which you are not. Become less judgemental and more forgiving. Find your purpose and serve others. Practice gratitude. Learn to observe your thoughts and begin taking control of your mind. Feel compassion for others no matter what they say or do to aggravate you, ‘dodge the arrows' thrown at you.' Be around people that, ' zap you’ and don't ‘Sap you' of all your goodness and positive energy. It's all up to you. Make the change happen within your body, mind and soul. Stay on the path to your own enlightenment. It's there for you, it needs commitment and time, but it can be found. It doesn't need fancy, 'out there' promises and stories, but instead an analytical mind to find what suits you and your family. Make a positive intention and commitment to be willing to heal yourself in your own time with your own reality and positive belief system. Self- development requires an open mind and respect for where these philosophies and tips evolved from and how they have helped so many find a healthier, happier path with good morals and a positive outlook. Thinking 'why me?' Just leads to more misery. Pausing to breathe then thinking, what now? With compassion for yourself and others will lead to a better path. Have faith. Self- centred acts produce misery. Protecting ourselves from any challenge to our happiness by dwelling on ourselves and our perceived notions of outside disturbances causing our suffering, which may or may not really exist, but in our minds. Altruistic motivated actions work better if we are to stop the cycle of searching for happiness and creating more suffering by self-centred behaviour. (Dalai Lama) Messages you received about communicating and your self- esteem often came from your family environment and the community where you lived as a child. Once you realise this you can make the changes within yourself that you need to. What if we read our experience of life from a different viewpoint? Are our senses, thoughts, and emotions real simply because we experience them? When you cannot hold the body still, you cannot hold the mind still. When you can control your breathe you can also control your mind. (Iyendar, Light on Life). Integrating your mind and body with self-awareness without self-consciousness and letting go of perfection which can end up in ‘paralysis’ (Wayne Dyer). It's the silence between the notes that makes the music. No such thing as failure, just results. It's what you do with the results that counts. Being against something disempowers you, being for something empowers you. One of the most important things you can do as an adult is think and do more like a child. Take risks, live and be yourself. Tell yourself the ‘Door of complaints is shut today you‘ ll have to walk to the solutions desk and start listening to yourself’ (Wayne Dyer) or another quote from Wayne Dyer I love is, ‘the elevator to success is broken today, you will have to take the steps one step at a time.’ A message to ourselves to take time-out from continually working towards our goals without taking a moment to see how far we have already come or enjoying the present moments more. Young teenagers express that their biggest worry is exams. Les not put pressure on our children regarding final exams. There are many pathways to success outside of final exam results. Ease stress: get enough sleep, eat properly and support healthy emotional intelligence first. Yoga wisdom to help bring peace whilst studying. Not over emphasising an all or nothing attitude to exam results, but a healthy balance of commitment to study and too much stress. The first of 195 sutras: (Patanjali's yoga sutras.) 1.14 commitment over time to learn that which you require to reach your goal for a long time. Nothing comes easy, study hard, put in the effort and rewards will come. Believe in what you are doing to make it meaningful for yourself. Look forward to what you are doing in society and find the joy in everything you choose to do or have to do. Approach each endeavour with an attitude of service. Even if that means that as a parent you get enough sleep and 'you' time to recharge to be of better service to your children. Live without fear and nothing externally needed to make us happy. Realise who you truly are. Listen to Mother Nature and yourself in silence. Then move forward with peace in your heart and be unchanged by your outside influences. Be truly in the present moment. This all comes to those who continue with commitment their emotional health and if you choose, your ‘yoga path’. References Iyengar, B.K.S. Light on Life: The yoga Journey to wholeness, Inner Peace and Ultimate Freedom, 2005. Dyer, W. The Essential Wayne Dyer Collection. 2013. Hay House. Com Vallabhan S. (writer) Yoga Journal. (Assessed 2015).

Mindfulness for parents and children

For parents and children to experience more patience, acceptance and overall better health. Understand your thought processes to have a better mindset. Mindfulness and breathing techniques has helped myself and my students better understand their emotions and how they are chemically based. With practice we can all learn to monitor our thoughts better. Growing up I knew no other way to process my thoughts and feelings except to act more than not with my fight or flight response. Working from a tiny gland at the base of the skull called the 'amygdala'. I would run from situations I felt slightly uncomfortable in or I would fight it verbally. No winners there obviously. Since learning better ways through yoga and learning more about emotional intelligence you can then pass this onto your kids and hopefully with this understanding and mindfulness they will be better equipped to face challenges (as they are just part of life) and better control negative thoughts and unhelpful ways of dealing with stress. If you are not content within yourself nothing will ever be right in your life. We are hard wired since our creation to be on alert for bad things to happen and we hold onto them, so we can avoid them again in the future. That's what has helped our survival since our beginning as humans, but we need to understand that this is an in- built ability that we don't really need to hold onto these days. We don't have to be on as high alert as we were in the cave man days and this crosses over to our reaction to things in life also. We can overreact to what our mind perceives as a threat to us and react with our ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ response. This response is what kept us safe millions of years ago from predators. We don't need to react this way as much now and it is time to settle our brains. Being on high alert all the time sets us of on a bad negative path (and it can be exhausting!) where we perceive threats when there really isn't any and we give up too easily or fight or worse yet, come in straight away with our guard up and not open to anyone's point of view. Another needless outcome of working from these negative reactions is that we become stuck in this mind- set of not being able to see anything as positive anymore. We get around on auto-pilot of always reacting the same way and never finding peace, whether we fight or take off from the perceived threat without trying to work around it. We all know now that high stress levels can cause disease but we continue to tell ourselves we are hard done by and play the victim. We tell everyone who will listen all the stored up negative stuff that has happened to us, not storing up any small positives. We need to remember why we were made with these responses and that they once helped us survive in a harsh world and we could draw upon all the negative stuff we had remembered to keep us safe in the future. But we are not cave men and women anymore and we now can afford to store up some positives. Therefore, work on storing up some positives by maybe having gratitude for what you do have and enjoy in your life. Give your friends and family a break from hearing about your hard day after day after day…. Because it doesn't matter where you run to with your 'flight' response or whether you stay and fight, you will ultimately never be happy until you find happiness within yourself and only yourself. Things you may not know but might change your reality.... to practice for better health. 1. Thinking of things you are grateful for everyday (Studies have found that regular grateful thinking can increase happiness by as much as 25 per cent). 2. Exercising regularly- just going for a walk can elevate your mood and increase feelings of well-being. 3.Remember that we are essentially programmed to see and remember the bad things that happen as that is how we have survived by being able to recognise what is something to avoid again since we lived with danger everyday as far back as cave men and women. We can change this by focusing and remembering the good. 4. We are also hard wired to hang onto resentment, which is also a primal fighting response as we are hard wired to fight to protect ourselves from hurt and danger and internalise it to continue the protection. 5. Craft and colouring activities can help with anxiety and depression and are a form of mindfulness, which helps shift unhelpful thoughts and can even help sleep. (Calms the 'amygdala' that I mentioned. ) So get crafty, breathe, focus on the good, let go of resentment, live in the moment and exercise and encourage the same in your children. References: Black, A. The Little Pocket Book of Mindfulness. 2012.Cico Books, London, New York. # If you'd like to learn more please join one of my classes for kids, workshops or teacher training.

Yoga is a lot more than just the poses. Yamas and Niyamas- morals

Yoga involves a lot more than just the asanas- yoga postures. In my yoga I try to pass on The eight limbs of yoga within the classes. The first limb is the set of Yamas and Niyamas- five observances to follow within our lives to gain more contentment. The first one being- Ahimsa: non-violence: being kind to others even if they are not kind to you. Which is harder then we think sometimes, but worth trying, as we can see that everyone involved is less stressed if we take this action. Being kind to ourselves is something that can be followed within our yoga asana practice also. This would be by way of listening to our bodies and not over straining them to create the perfect pose ( which in actual fact doesn't exist, as the perfect pose is what is actually feeling perfect to us within our own body). 'Himsa' Is being kind, so if we treat our body as our 'temple' to cherish and care for, then we can also be more patient with ourselves and kind to our bodies as well as our inner self. The second Yama is Truthfulness. Third is 'nonstealing'. Your body is your sacred vehicle which takes you through life and we should treat it with respect by taking care of it. The fourth is 'honouring your body'. The fifth is 'non-greediness'. Even in the under 5's to teens we can mention these observances, for example; being kind, 'himsa', acting without judgement of others, sharing equipment, being respectful, helping to pack up.

Exercises for mindfulness for mums and dads.

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Emotional intelligence for parents and children

Yogamotorskills Ashdown/Maclay yogamotorskills@gmail.com Emotional Intelligence for your family.

Stress often leads to depression, anxiety or anger.  Emotions are really ‘ok’ to feel, it is just ‘how’ we deal with them that is important and learning to express them appropriately. 

When young children are asked what makes them happy I find the most common responses to be: Friends, family, pets, hobbies like surfing, sports and reaching goals and last, but not least, a happy home. Added to these were: Listening to favourite music, dancing.  Occasional food treats. These uncomplicated activities and lifestyles are very close to many adult’s views on what makes them happy also.  Let’s not over-complicate the society we live in and strive to meet these needs.

In addition, think about how well does distraction work for you? What are the favourite activities you turn to for distraction, and do you move on from them feeling more or less relaxed, and more or less connected with life? 

Teach our children that stress can also be a positive challenge, not a threat. Wait before acting, think about it, the task at hand and use your stress response wisely to get motivated and meet your tasks and solve problems. 

Toxic stress can make us fat as we all know we can eat more and seek sugar when we are stressed. It’s the appeal of instant gratification, like getting that ‘like’ on facebook, we fill ourselves with a ‘feel good’ sugar hit. Try to imagine a better version of yourself and what it looks like and share this idea with your children if they are overweight and unhappy.

Try instead as a parent to put a label on the emotion you are feeling in a situation and role model this to children. Tell your children when you are feeling these emotions so they do not automatically follow any negative emotions and take on your emotions as their own, as can often happen with sensitive children. 

You can easily make assumptions about the feelings of others by wrongly reading their facial expressions.  Try to be present when talking to people and think about what might be going on for them, rather than assuming you know how their feeling or why they may be behaving in a certain way. 

Bring curiosity to your emotions and observe them, rather than reacting before thinking and observing what is truly going on for you and where it may be coming from.  Do you feel threatened in a situation? I don't mean physically, but personally, emotionally. Once you have taken the time to process the situation, then you can react from a less agitated state (which we have learnt to use to protect ourselves from threats in bygone days as a human race). Acting more calmly in discussions and situations with your children can improve your relationships,  as others will react less defensively and your children may actually listen.   Ask yourself: 'do you want peace of mind or conflict?'

Think about your family as you grew up. How did they deal with conflict? Were they able to express their emotions?

Life will always be filled with challenges, highs and lows. We need to look at them with a different perspective and mindfulness can help. By being in the present moment and not dwelling on the time that has passed or worrying about the future, we can then allow our minds to accept what has happened and not respond in repetitive ways that we have learnt. 

We can get stuck in 'automatic pilot mode' and react to situations the same way every time, never trying anything different and we distract our minds from being present with alcohol, technology, food, work, whatever works to take our mind away from how we really feel in the present moment.

Mindfulness and meditation works over time because our brains actually start to change and the hardwiring of our nervous systems takes on the process of mindfulness as a new system to tap into. 

Often people get into a negative loop of thinking that just goes around and around and nothing that they change around them will fix this way of thinking that they are set in.  They can move house, change jobs, change partners and still feel unhappy.

Find greater courage, clarity and insight within yourself through daily mindfulness sessions or up to 20 minutes of meditation. 

Learn that being bored is good for you and

multi -tasking is not.

Being attuned to our feelings, in tune with our bodies, reflecting on our values, aspirations, goals. Knowing our strengths and weaknesses. These are the skills future generations will need in emotional intelligence to succeed. Enhancing their interpersonal skills, teamwork ability and communication skills can never start too early. Yoga, mindfulness and life coaching education can help adults and young adults develop these skills and give them tools for lifelong learning and emotional peace.  Ease of connection with themselves and other people will then come and treating everyone with love, compassion and kindness. 

‘The calm man is not the man that is dull. Just perfectly unselfish. No thirst for gain or fame’ Iyengar.

Iyengar, ‘Light on yoga’, continues with; Unhappiness comes from the inability to distinguish between our own true self and our mind. Our mind is often fluctuating and over acting.  See the role of each and separate them.  'The 'self' is within you that you can see and tap into and the external that is seen is the mind in action. Control your mind and your 'self' will benefit.  Prevent future suffering by forgiving yourself for past mistakes, not being too critical of yourself as holding onto these thoughts can only serve to make you feel more miserable in your own suffering. 

Those that have found who they truly are and are comfortable with themselves show as ease of connection with themselves and other people.
Yoga, in conjunction with therapy, inspirational texts, and other natural approaches to well-being can facilitate healing for all of us. (Sangeeta Vallabhan).

Spirituality is not some external goal that one must seek but a part of the divine core of each of us, which we must reveal (Iyendar, Light on Life). We need sound bodies so we can develop sound minds. Mantras: "I have access to infinite potential."

"Everything is a teaching for me." "I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment." 

What do you want to harbour; resentment or love? What do you want to find; peace or conflict of mind? Yoga helps you decide. 

 Next time you see the big M sign for McDonald's- think: take a minute for some 'mindfulness.' Mindfulness coach.com.au. 

Start your process of positive change with support and compassion for yourself on your journey.

Find your true self. Feel more balanced and centred. Work through your inner energy systems and work on those that need support. 

Try these yoga poses to help:

Chakra- root balancing poses

Tadasana- Mountain pose

Warrior one, visualise the strong, grounding colour of red going through your body.

Bridge pose 

Standing forward bend (Uttanasana)

Tree pose

Boat pose

Revolved powerful/chair pose.

Heart chakra

Camel pose

Throat chakra 

Supported shoulder stand.

Easy pose 

Third eye chakra

Savasana – rest in ‘corpse pose’ with deep breathing.

Mantra or Affirmation: ' I am safe, I am grounded and I trust that the universe has a solid plan for me.'

‘I have access to infinite potential.’

‘Everything is a teaching for me. I am being guided, protected, and inspired every moment.'

Contemplate balance:

Balance of your body.

Balance of your mind

Balance in spirituality. 

Mindfulness activities to help: 

Living in the present moment

Noticing beauty around us in nature

Noticing contented happy moments in life. 

Deeply listening to someone talking and paying attention to them. 

Being mindful of our thoughts and feelings before we act. 

Doing a random act of kindness.

Recently I was struggling to eat prawns gracefully on a day cruise and a lady nearby got up without saying a word and found me a bowl of water, fork and napkin. Later I had no cash to pay for my ferry fair and another lady offered me the $3.00 fair. 

Final tips: Find mindfulness and the feeling of living in the present moment. Do away with negativity and bring in positive energy. Build your self-esteem and courage. Stop pretending to the world that which you are not. Become less judgemental and more forgiving. Find your purpose and serve others. Practice gratitude. Learn to observe your thoughts and begin taking control of your mind. Feel compassion for others no matter what they say or do to aggravate you, ‘dodge the arrows' thrown at you.' Be around people that, ' zap you’ and don't ‘Sap you' of all your goodness and positive energy. It's all up to you. Make the change happen within your body, mind and soul. Stay on the path to your own enlightenment. It's there for you, it needs commitment and time, but it can be found. It doesn't need fancy, 'out there' promises and stories, but instead an analytical mind to find what suits you and your family. Make a positive intention and commitment to be willing to heal yourself in your own time with your own reality and positive belief system.

Self- development requires an open mind and respect for where these philosophies and tips evolved from and how they have helped so many find a healthier, happier path with good morals and a positive outlook. 

Thinking 'why me?' Just leads to more misery. Pausing to breathe then thinking, what now? With compassion for yourself and others will lead to a better path. Have faith. 

Self- centred acts produce misery.

Protecting ourselves from any challenge to our happiness by dwelling on ourselves and our perceived notions of outside disturbances causing our suffering, which may or may not really exist, but in our minds. Altruistic motivated actions work better if we are to stop the cycle of searching for happiness and creating more suffering by self-centred behaviour. (Dalai Lama)

Messages you received about communicating and your self- esteem often came from your family environment and the community where you lived as a child.

Once you realise this you can make the changes within yourself that you need to. 

What if we read our experience of life from a different viewpoint? Are our senses, thoughts, and emotions real simply because we experience them? When you cannot hold the body still, you cannot hold the mind still. When you can control your breathe you can also control your mind. (Iyendar, Light on Life). Integrating your mind and body with self-awareness without self-consciousness and letting go of perfection which can end up in ‘paralysis’ (Wayne Dyer). It's the silence between the notes that makes the music.  No such thing as failure, just results. It's what you do with the results that counts. Being against something disempowers you, being for something empowers you.  One of the most important things you can do as an adult is think and do more like a child. Take risks, live and be yourself. Tell yourself the ‘Door of complaints is shut today

you‘ ll have to walk to the solutions desk

and start listening to yourself’ (Wayne Dyer) or another quote from Wayne Dyer I love is, ‘the elevator to success is broken today, you will have to take the steps one step at a time.’ A message to ourselves to take time-out from continually working towards our goals without taking a moment to see how far we have already come or enjoying the present moments more.  Young teenagers express that their biggest worry is exams.  Les not put pressure on our children regarding final exams.  There are many pathways to success outside of final exam results. Ease stress: get enough sleep, eat properly and support healthy emotional intelligence first.

Yoga wisdom to help bring peace whilst studying.  Not over emphasising an all or nothing attitude to exam results, but a healthy balance of commitment to study and too much stress.

The first of 195 sutras: (Patanjali's yoga sutras.) 

1.14 commitment over time to learn that which you require to reach your goal for a long time. Nothing comes easy, study hard, put in the effort and rewards will come.

Believe in what you are doing to make it meaningful for yourself.

Look forward to what you are doing in society and find the joy in everything you choose to do or have to do. 

Approach each endeavour with an attitude of service. Even if that means that as a parent you get enough sleep and 'you' time to recharge to be of better service to your children.

Live without fear and nothing externally needed to make us happy. 

Realise who you truly are. Listen to Mother Nature and yourself in silence. Then move forward with peace in your heart and be unchanged by your outside influences. Be truly in the present moment. This all comes to those who continue with commitment their emotional health and if you choose, your ‘yoga path’. 

References

Iyengar, B.K.S. Light on Life: The yoga Journey to wholeness, Inner Peace and Ultimate Freedom,  2005.

Dyer, W. The Essential Wayne Dyer Collection. 2013. Hay House. Com

Vallabhan S. (writer) Yoga Journal. (Assessed 2015).  

what should I be feeling in my yoga class?

What should I be feeling in my yoga practice both during and following the class?
'Yoga is invigoration in relaxation. Freedom in routine. Confidence through self-control. Energy within and energy without.- Ymber Delecto.
Sounds contradictory right? But it isn't, it just is! I often say to my students to hold firm the pose, but still relaxed. Some have asked, how can I do this? I give the instruction to soften your gaze, your face and shoulders as you still hold steady and firm in your pose. When you combine your breathing with your movement in yoga poses and join your mind inward towards your body and what it is doing, feeling and thinking, then you are doing yoga.
When in poses like hip releasing postures, it is helpful to let go of your thoughts and stress within all parts of your body in order to feel the pose and muscles release more deeply.
When you continue your practice without judgement for yourself or others then you are experiencing the side effects of practice and that is 'to let go,'and feel tranquility within and kindness towards yourself and others.  When you continue to build strength, inwardly, you build strength within your character. Repeating this practice builds muscle memory and your mind also practices being mindful in the present moment, concentrating, persevering without judgement of yourself, which in turn becomes a habit that appears not only on your yoga mat, but in your wider world. Breathing properly using a fuller lung capacity during your practice can improve your endurance, well-being and overall efficiency of your lung capacity.
Furthermore, What you as an individual feel like in a pose is more important than what you look like. We are all biologically different, all have different physical body realities due to our genetics, our overall health, past injuries etc. Where you feel a stretch and how, is entirely unique to you  and besides if we wish yoga to create great functionality in our body, then it should be about feeling something that seems to allow some release into your body, wherever that may be for you. As long as you feel safe and stable then that is the right way to hold a pose for you. Just coming to your mat And being aware of your own body and mind and breath that moment is sometimes enough. Learn to listen to your own bodies cues rather then just your teachers. Just as no way of learning suits everyone. No one way of doing yoga suits everyone either. Find 'yourself' on the mat - literally and physically. This is your time.

References: Clarke, B. Your Body, Your Yoga. Yinyoga.com